Dear You,

I want you to remember this day. I want you to feel how painful it is. I want you to be reminded how deep the arrow was pierced through you. Because this is unlike those days when you failed your test or you no longer have a job to come back to. This could be less or more than that. Depends on how you decide upon it. But nonetheless, it hurts. It hurts more than it will ever be. Because you let him in your life. You let him in when you were perfectly okay with yourself, until he came and ruined it. So from rock solid you were, now you are crumbling to the ground. Why? Because when you gave him access, you forgot who you were. It wasn’t his fault though. The blame should be on you. You started feeling everything with your guard down. You should have been careful and have seen the warning signs. But you disregarded everything, all because you were crazy feeling for him. Joke on you though. You are the one choking up now while he is fine, oblivious that you are falling apart. So there you are drowning yourself in sad thoughts, sad music, sad poems and everything sad and bad! But I don’t blame you. They say, ‘Pain demands to be felt’. Feel it anyway. Drown yourself with it until it chokes you up, you will need to swim back up to the surface. It’s okay. I will not judge you. We all go through this but in different ways. Eventually, when all pain is gone you will be fine. And you will be nothing but new. It has all been felt and eventually left you because there was nothing else to break you. When it has all been done, you will be reminded the woman you were before this, strong. And just like any strong woman, you will pick yourself up and put back the broken pieces. Then, you will look back to this day and laugh at your craziness and might even call it ‘stupid’. You will see today as the lesson of yesterday. Isn’t that what matters most? To finally see this as a beautiful mistake. Because no matter how it broke you, it revealed something new about yourself. Just like the butterfly, you have transformed into a more beautiful creature. That, my love, you have gained after losing. You may have been a bright sunny day before all these but you will shine your light even more, they wouldn’t be able to handle your rays. Trust the process. Let go but also hold on. Forgive yourself for the monsters that grew within you but never forget. You can’t go back. Going back is the heart of the fool. You aren’t that being. If ever you should go back, go back to loving yourself. It was the most beautiful relationship you ever had and will ever be. Don’t worry, you will find yourself again. You always do.

Love,

Me

Published by Mariestel Correlo