shutterstock_371756530Death, usually something we fear or we avoid talking about all together. We associate it with sadness, loss and grieve. But for us christians, death is not something to fear, morn or avoid talking about. It is actually imperative for us that we die every day of our lives a spiritual death, so we in the end can face the physical death with anticipation and joy because we know we are going home.

I was reminded of this today when I got to experience first hand how important it is to die spiritually every day of our lives. As you might remember my wife and I are struggling financially, we have been for some years now. So far we have used our own money to pay for the ministry expenses, but this month we cant. What we need to pay to our web provider this month is just to large a sum of money for us to take it from our own pockets this month. On top of this, I collected our personal mail yesterday from our postbox. Its never fun to receive envelope after envelope with bills you cant pay even if you wanted to.

We have been given so many prophecies from different people telling us that God wants us to be debt free, and He is going to do it. So we do not doubt Gods willingness and ability, but right now we feel like shouting “when God?!, do you not care we are sinking right now?! Do you not care about the money we need for our ministry?!”

Thats is when we where reminded about the disciples. There they where in a boat with Jesus, they had seen Him do might miracles. But all it took to shake their faith was a storm that threatened to sink their ship. So they went to Jesus who was so exhausted He slept through it all, they violently shook Him awake and said the same thing “Lord, do you not care we are sinking?!” (Mark 4:38)

I do not know what storm you are going through, perhaps it is cancer, divorce, death, sickness, depression. But something has made you cry out to God “when God?!, do you not care we are sinking right now?!”

I can guarantee you one thing, He does care and He knows we are sinking. And because He cares He will save us in time, He will not allow us to go down. (Mark 4:39)

shutterstock_414601663The most sensible thing right now would be to sell our house. If we sell it, we will be able to declare personal bankruptcy and our debt will be taken care of. Then we will be able to start again, as if it had never happened. But the house turns out to be very difficult to sell since it had a lot of hidden construction errors. Not only that, but also since there is a lot of debt connected to the house where our creditors has to agree to a sale.

So we are kind of stuck, we can declare bankruptcy because we are struggling with selling our house. And we cant pay the ministry bills any more from our own pocket because we need that money for ourself right now.

This reminds me about how Moses must have felt when he and the israelites felt stuck. On one side of them was the Red Sea and on the other the Egyptian Army. What about you? What is your Egyptian Army on one side and what is your Red Sea on the other? Is it cancer? Divorce? Sickness?

In times like these, when we are stuck it is a good thing we serve a God of the impossible. Nothing is to hard for HIm, He made the oceans, and the earth. He made you, He parted the Red Sea and He took a group of slaves and made them millionaires in one day. All out of love for them, but most of all, He died for us. It was impossible for us to be reconciled to God, but He did it anyway by dying for us on a cross. So we serve a God of the impossible. (Rom 3:22, 8:32, John 3:16)


If it was up to me, we would have been debt free a long time ago. God promised us He would rescue us from the consequences of our own sin about 4 years ago. We have been waiting ever since, and we are still waiting. But we know we are in good company, we are not the only one who has been give a promise from God who had to wait for it to come through.

Abraham waited for 15 years to see his promise for a son come to pass. I sure do hope we do not have to wait for 15 years to become debt free, and I guess you have your own promises from God you are waiting to see come to fulfillment. If you have, you are in good company. But the question is this, what are we to do while we are waiting?

We are to die from ourself by making a choice, despite our circumstances, to die believing we are dead with Jesus Christ on the cross. (Rom 6:11) So death is a positive thing for us.


The more we die, the sooner our promise comes to pass because the fulfillment of our promise is dependent upon our faith in being dead and buried with Jesus Christ. (Rom 8:1-11)


The more you choose to die by believing you are dead with Christ, the sooner your promise comes to pass because the fulfillment of your promise is dependent upon your faith in being dead and buried with Jesus Christ. (Rom 8:1-11)

Yesterday I was at the post office collecting our mail. It is never a pleasant experience collecting mail when you have financial trouble. I dreaded going there, I felt fear, and shame. I know we have been forgiven a long time ago by the Lord, but still I felt shame. It was only by choosing to believe I was dead with Christ I had the strength to physically go there and take out all those envelopes with “final notice” stamped on them. When I sat there in the car flipping through all those envelopes a part of me cried out to God “When God?! do you not see all these bills? Do you not care I am sinking?!”. Then I heard a still small voice inside of me “yes I do care, but you have to die first for Me to do anything for you”.

What about you? Was it that day when you received the test results in the mail telling you it was cancer, that lump you felt? That the cancer had returned once more when you thought you where healed? I bet you cried out to God “When God?! do you not care? do you not see I am sinking?!”. I can guarantee you He answered back “yes I do care, but you have to die first for Me to do anything for you”

shutterstock_102786296Why do we have to die before God can do anything for us?

When Moses was standing at the Red Sea it was an impossible situation. The Egyptian Army behind, the Red Sea in front. There was no way they could escape. What would have happened if Moses had not died from himself? If all those years in the desert, after killing the Egyptian, had not led to death of self in him?

What would you do if you had been Moses?

When we are in impossible situations, we often come up with our own solutions to them and we ask God to bless our ways. When this happens, we are still very much alive and far from being dead. If we are alive and not dead, God can do little in our lives and we soon end up in religion, works of the flesh and being far from grace (Gal 5:4)

If I had been Moses, I would have had my own idea on how God would deliver us. In my mind, God would have come down and just wiped the Egyptian army of the face of the earth while me and my people got to watch. That would have been the easiest thing to do in my mind, and the quickest.

Instead God knows that all those years in the desert has prepared Moses for this moment. All those years in the desert has killed Moses so that it was room for God to live in him and through him. So Moses did not object when God told him to stretch forth his hand and rod toward the Red Sea. And because Moses was dead, he was not in the way for Gods plans on how to rescue the Israelites. Because Moses had died God parted the Red Sea through him, the Israelites walked over, and then God wiped away the Egyptian army by drowning them.

I wonder how many times we hinder God from moving in our lives because we are so very much alive and we make it impossible for Him to do anything. We act like children and we ask Him to bless our plans, but He has a better way for us, but to get there we first have to die from our own desires and wishes. Is it any wonder we have to wait for our promise to come to pass? Is it any wonder He has to take us the long way around in the desert to make sure we die from ourself and He gets to live in us?

If we only realized how important it is to die with Jesus, and remaind dead with Him every day we would hasten and accelerate the desert proses in our lives. After all, God did not want them to walk 40 years in the desert. He had no choice because they refused to die from them self and allow Him to live in them.

What is the desert you are in right now? How long has He waited upon you to die from yourself? What could happen if you died today from yourself and He was able to move freely in your life?

Great and wonderful things could happen, because we all have promises He has given us that He is waiting to give us. But first we have to die with Jesus and remain dead with Him. (3 John 2)

So death is a good thing for us Christians, we need to die each and every day from ourself. And there is another side to this. If we do not die each and every day from ourself we are not being true christians. And if we are not being true christians, then Christ has become of no effect to us. (Gal 5:4)

So your decision to die today with Christ, and your decision to die tomorrow and for the rest of your life with Christ, assures and guarantees you  will reach heaven when you die your physical death. For it is only through the death of Christ you are reconciled to God. And it is only through the death of Christ you will get all that you need for this life. (Rom 3:22, 8:32)

shutterstock_371756530So what about yourself? Have you died with Christ?

I know to me, in my life, its sometimes like a scene from the Walking Dead. Parts of me that should have been dead a long time ago have a ugly tendency to get reanimated at the worst times in my life. But God has given me a weapon, and the weapon is faith.

shutterstock_336511811-4Yesterday was kind of a struggle for me.  Knowing how much I owe my web provider for the ministry, and flipping through the stack of personal bills we cant pay made me stressed and depressed. And it kind of did not help me very much to hear God say “yes I do care, but you have to die first for Me to do anything”. I did not want that, I wanted God to part the heavens come down right there and then in front of the post office with my solution to my problem. So what had really happened to cause my frustration? A part of me that was supposed to be dead had suddenly become reanimated again.

Life is like this sometimes. We know what to do, we know how to fight the good fight of faith with the cross of Christ as our object. But then something unexpected happens and it throws us of track for a short while and we find parts of us reanimated that was supposed to be dead. Suddenly worry, fear, and anxiety has crept out of the graves and are walking again and you have to find yourself battling with them and getting them reburied.

How do you do that?

The weapon we have been given is our faith. But as with any weapon you have to have bullets to make it effective. If you are just standing there, holding a gun towards an advancing enemy it will not do you any good the moment the enemy finds out its not loaded. So you have to load your faith. And this is where the baptism of the Holy Spirit comes in.

shutterstock_64686490Yesterday my weapon was drawn but it was not loaded. So when I was sitting there in my car, in front of the post office with the stack of bills on my lap, it did not help me very much to just believe He died for me. That did not kill the parts of me that had become reanimated.

But when I combined my faith, believing I am dead with Christ, with speaking in tongues, my weapon became a powerful one and suddenly the reanimated parts of myself had wandered back into their graves where they belong.

So I sat there outside the post office, believed I am dead and just prayed in tongues. And it helped tremendously. Fear, worry, and my deep desire for God to part the heavens and come down with the solution to my problem went away and was replaced with peace, joy and trust in Him.

Dont get me wrong, my situation did not change. But what changed is that I died again so that He could do a work through me. I died again because of my faith in being dead with Christ. But sometimes, the devil and our circumstances can talk so loud it is hard to focus on that faith. This is where tongues comes into play and helps us. So I died, and tongues helped me build my trust in Him and His promises. So now He is free to work in Me, and I know the Bible says He desires for me to be debt free. Yes my wife and I created that mess, but the Bible says that He is the mess cleaner. He cleans up our mess if we trust Him, if we trust that He died for us. (Rom 8:32)

I still do not have a time frame on what will happen. But I know it will happen,and I know He is in charge so when it happens it is the best time. And yes, sometimes there are still parts of me trying to dig their way out of the graves they are in. But when that happens, I load my spiritual weapon and fire back at them by believing I am dead with Christ, and praying in tongues.

shutterstock_336511811-3What about yourself? What has become reanimated in your life? Has the devil and your circumstances turned up the volume so high it is almost impossible to concentrate on your faith on the cross?  Is it time to load your spiritual gun and fire back at him? I think it is about time to do so. If you need me to pray for you, or help you with this, use the above contact info or visit the ministry on Facebook.

I hope this has shown the importance of dying each and every day. And the importance of using your spiritual gun to make sure parts of you remain dead, even those parts trying to crawl back out of the graves they are in.

But I have also shared this with you to show you a window into the life of an Apostle. In the world we live in, there are many Apostles. And by looking at them and their lives, you might get the impression being an Apostle or being in ministry = being rich. But that is far from it. Apostles, or other ministers, are just normal human beings. But the fact that we are normal human beings makes us so much more dependent on the cross for our callings, for we see ourself so unable in ourself to take on this calling.

And dont take this as hint for money. Right now, I have to pay my web provider soon, and up until this moment we have been able to do so from our own pockets. But now the financial cost of spreading the gospel has become so high that we cant pay it from our own pocket anymore. And to be honest, I do not know how the Lord will solve this.

But what I do know is this, He told me when I started this ministry 1 year ago, never to ask for money and never to have fundraisers or ask for support. So I know that this is one of those moments, a death moment where I have to die so that He can give me the solution to this problem. Because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, He will provide the funds. How I do not know, but i know He will provide it for this ministry and for my family personally.

I just have to make sure I am dead so that He can live through me.

Death, its a good thing for us Christians.


Published by Apostle Ernie