January 1st in America seems to be the day that life starts "new." Many people begin their year's with determination and motivation to better themselves in ways that they hadn't been able to in the preceding years. According to an article on Statistic Brain, new years resolutions are common for about half of the American population. A vast majority of the resolutions involve weight loss, healthy living, and a mad dash to true love and perfect happiness. I know that I have been a person of the bandwagon myself. "This year I'm going to have the perfect swimsuit body." "This year I'm going to eat right, go to the gym every day and go on multiple adventures." Three days in I'm looking at the largest sizes of swimsuits to go whaling in, stuffing myself with numerous amounts of Christmas candy, and contemplating what movie I will watch next. It's this never ending cycle of getting my hopes up only to let myself down, time and time again. I've decided that this year, I'm not going to do that. I've decided to focus on making goals for myself that I know I can handle; that will better my own perceptions of myself and the world around me. These goals will be threefold and I'm rather hopeful that the end result will be positivity and love in abundance. 

I am tired of my inner voice giving me this negative monologue to listen to on repeat. I spend so much time telling myself, "I can't" "I won't" and "I am not". This is where my threefold plan comes in. I will work to rewrite the script at which my inner voice speaks from. 2017 will be the year of the, "I can" "I will" and "I am". I have spent so much time navigating this vicious cycle of negativity and I refuse to bring that negativity into my son's life. He deserves to have an opportunity to at least know positive in his home because, unfortunately, he will grow to know a lot of negativity in the world. I am determined to give him a place to feel hopeful, happy, safe, and loved. The best way to make this happen for he and our family, is to start with me. 

Beginning with "I can", I am making a goal for January to be on time. I can be on time. There are very few reasons why I shouldn't be able to make this goal a reality. I am realistic in that there are always times when things just don't come together and I will be late, but it doesn't have to be a continuous habit. I am aware of my responsibilities and I know what time most take place. I just need to make the conscious effort to get myself together well ahead of time so that I am able to leave with plenty of time to arrive without having to rush. I find myself so happy when I can leisurely take back roads and enjoy my drive to and from my destinations. I loathe the trips that I feel rushed and stressed about whether or not I will make it in time. This is a negativity that I don't need in my life. Time management doesn't have to be a stress in my life and I am eager to eliminate this stress and open up my life to more positivity. 

The next step will be the "I will", because I am tired of making excuses for why I don't do things that I love to do. I absolutely love to read and write but I never seem to make the time to do so. Again, I am realistic in that I am a mother of a wild and active child and there will definitely be limited opportunities to read huge novels and write masterpieces like I used to be able to, but there is still some time to accomplish a chapter here and there, and/or a blog a day (some later than others, but hey, I'm trying!). I don't have to give up the aspects of my life that always made me happy and I will make time to do these things this year. 

The final step of this threefold goal is the "I am". This will easily be the hardest of the three because I've spent the better part of my 24 years writing this nasty script for my inner (and outer) voice. Why? I'll never know why. But I'm tired of it. In 2016, I carried and birthed a child. If that's not the most amazing accomplishment for my body, I don't know what is. I am continually fascinated by the fact that I was not only able to grow and nourish a human being with my own body, but that I was able to open my body up completely and bring my son into the world. I endured more in an 8 hour period than I'd ever thought possible and I am incredibly thankful to my body for the work it put in for the well being of both my son and me. Treating my body with disrespect is entirely outrageous and I am eager to rework this script. I am so looking forward to finding a love and acceptance for my body in all of it's beautiful form and glory. I have always had curves and stretch marks that have come with innumerable life experiences. I am finding more and more reasons to be kind to my body, mind and soul and I am eager to continue finding reasons in 2017. I have always and realistically will probably always have days where I am battling these negative voices in my head, but this does not have to be a standard in my life. We spend enough time being force fed these standards of what we should and shouldn't look like from the media and the people around us that I don't need to be an additional voice making things harder. I am a lot of positive things and trying to convince myself otherwise is a waste of time and energy. I will be spending extra time trying to rework this script so that I am able to live a more healthy and rewarding life with my husband and son. 

2017 is not going to be the new year of the "new me", it is going to be the new year of the me I've always been. The difference is that I am going to focus solely on thriving through the positive and leaving the negative behind. There are so many beautiful things happening in this life and wasting any bit of time in a slump of self doubt, self loathe, and self disrespect is time wasted with my husband and son. We have a limited amount of time in this world and I can't imagine wasting any bit of it any longer!

So here is to 2017, the year of the most positive version of the woman I've always been, and the woman I will continue to grow into for my beautiful family and myself. 💙

Published by Alexandra Yearley