You can count on two events to set the atmosphere buzzing in Nigeria, prayers and celebrations especially weddings. Don’t get me wrong politics and some other stuff often engages the general public, but among women for some unknown reason prayers and weddings come first, with a lasting impact than other issues. Most times the two are inseparable; thus, it is not unusual to hear someone ask a bride or a married woman ‘did you hear from God before deciding to marry him?‘  I totally understand this question.

As Christians we are supposed to be guided by God in our daily life and when it comes to choosing a spouse we should equally depend on his leading and direction. But that whole ‘did you hear from God question’ in my opinion has become a little trivialized, if not overrated and misappropriated. What does it really mean? With loads of people running from pillar to post, prayer houses to mountain tops it’s no surprise that the hearing process has become more of a validation exercise from some spiritual leader or another.

What does it really mean to you out there? When people pose that question at you what would your answer be? For loads of people it might mean an affirmation from a Man of God over them as a couple, a positive thumps up.One question though, if the said man of God visits you three years down the line and says to you “know what I really had no clue what I was talking about when you visited me; I didn’t hear anything from God, just got a vibe from the both of you, you complimented each other very well. What would be the tone of your marriage from there on ….? 

Would it change anything? Would you want to go back in time? And, this is not the case of a bad marriage I mean your marriage is fine, but would discovering a piece of your foundation wasn’t as ingrained as you thought it was, affect your thinking? Would it raise doubt? It’s not wrong to have that affirmation, but nothing beats personal conviction, the witness should bear testimony to what you know within.

What did you hear? What are you hearing now?

Listening to the speaker in church last week as he discussed the outlook of Jesus to divorce, I couldn’t help thinking maybe divorces happen because we are seeking affirmation rather than listening. Affirmation gets you the wedding, listening by both parties keeps you in the marriage as it undergoes several turns and cycles. In Matthew 19:8 Jesus said “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so”. A hard heart is a sign of shutting God out of our lives and once it sets in on either side; it’s downhill from there. 


Sat. Nav: Continue for a 100 yards then turn left.

You: Left? I don’t think that’s the right route, I’ll go straight on.

Hearing from God at the beginning and then going off on your own is much like starting a journey with a satellite navigator and then choosing to ignore it’s directives. You let your emotions, struggles, insecurities and fear crowd its voice or create doubt in your mind about its ability to guide you to your destination. Thankfully like the SAT. NAV. God keeps redirecting us back to the right track, but we must listen to avoid running into a collision.

I write this mostly as a reminder to never forget that I chose to marry my spouse; I opened my heart with all its flaws to him with a confidence in Gods word that his spirit will guide me through days of misunderstandings and mountain climbs (Job 32: 28). The day I start to shut my heart is the day I start to lose the plot.

Trust me it isn’t biscuit business, I am no marriage expert and honestly I haven’t got a clue about much, but  this I do know, God speaks on a daily bases.


Published by Chioma Nwafor