DIFFERENT

 

LIFE ON EARTH PRESENTS:

LESS THAN ⥷GREAT HEADS OF STATE

(A fictional look into the hearts and minds of our more colorful Heads of State)

 

EPISODE 1

 

STATE OF THE UNION

 

 

"Hey, Felix, how ya doing?"

 

Felix rose to his feet to greet the president and shook his hand.

 

"Hello Mr. President. Thank you for agreeing to an interview."

 

 

"Yeah, My pleasure. How you like the White House? Great, isn't it? Of course I had to make a lot of changes. Look at those curtains. Great curtains, right? I picked those out. Melania says I have great taste--great taste. I could have been an interior decorator. They should have let me decorate this whole place. You ready to do the interview? You ready to shoot?"

 

"Yes, unless you want to do some makeup and check how you look."

 

"I look alright. I always look great. Do you look alright Are you ready? "

 

"Sure, but,..."

 

"Then, let's start."

 

 

 "Mr. President, can you tell me more about your father? There are reports that he was a bigot."

 

"My father, was a bigot. No, I can't say that on t.v. Cut, let's start over again."

 

"Why can't you say that on t.v., Mr. President?"

 

"Because I want people to like me. People aren't going to like me if I say my father was a bigot, it's like admitting that I'm a bigot."

 

"Are you...a bigot?"

 

"Listen, when you're a kid you want your old man to be proud of you because you look up to him."

 

"You looked up to a bigot?"

 

"Of course, he was my father. He provided for us and well."

 

"And, you wanted him to be proud of you for trying to be like him, so, you too, became a bigot and a racist?"

 

"Well, it didn't matter back then, everybody hated colored people. We'd call them Sambos and  and niggers and spit on them and tell them to shine our shoes."

 

"Not everybody was like that. My father wasn't."

 

"Well, it depended on where you lived. You probably grew up in a great neighborhood."

 

"I grew up in the deep, prejudiced South. But, just because you're neighbors are racists doesn't mean that you have to be."

 

"What are you trying to say?"

 

"I'm stating a fact, sir. I used to ask my father why our neighbors had to be so mean when Stewart came over and we would go outside to play. The neighbor kids would throw rocks at him and call him names. Stewart was my best friend and he was Black. My dad would say that they're weak-minded people who don't know God."

 

"Excuse me for saying so, but, you daddy was wrong. My family went to church and my dad was a big contributor. Your father shouldn't judge people."

 

" I don't think it's judging people. Actions speak louder than words and we definitely saw their actions."

 

"Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but, I bet you didn't even try to get to know your neighbors and you're judging them just because they didn't like Blacks. Your father was a hypocrite."

 

"You don't think it's being a hypocrite hating Black people?"

 

"I didn't say I hated Black people or my father."

 

"Well, what do you call it when you beat them, spit on them, call them names, ask them to shine your shoes, hang them and burn down their houses and churches for no reason?"

 

"We call it protecting ourselves and our families and exterminating."

 

"So, you dehumanize Black people and think of them as pests like roaches?"

 

"Call it what you want, but, we have to protect ourselves from bad influences."

 

"How do you know that they're bad influences if you don't get to know them? Aren't you being hypocritical now?"

 

"You don't get it. You don't try to get to know their kind. They're all the same. You don't mix with them, it's in the Bible."

 

Felix laughed.

 

"What's so funny?"

 

"I'm sorry, Mr. President, I didn't mean to be disrespectful. I apologize. That was very unprofessional. But, I have to ask you. Do you read the Bible? Where is it mentioned?"

 

"Read the Bible?! Of course I've read the Bible! What! Do you think I'm some kind of heathen like colored people? I can't tell you where it's at right now, but, it's in there. We shouldn't mix with them. Some people said Moses did and that's why he couldn't see the Promise Land."

 

"Well, I have to admit, I've never heard that version of the Bible."

 

"Then, you must not know the Bible, so why are you criticizing me?"

 

"Okay, let's go on. It's been found that your father was part of the Ku Klux Klan and was arrested as part of the group. Were you proud of his affiliation with the Klan?"

 

"Listen, he went to a few meetings and had drinks with some of the guys. He was a businessman. He didn't have time for all of their shenanigans. Yeah, he got arrested. Proud of it? No, I wasn't proud of it. The kids at school knew that he had been arrested with the Klan, but, most of them didn't say anything to me. Still, I could tell by the looks and whispering that they were talking about it. Pop was a gang-buster, he could handle himself, so, I didn't care about what they were saying. It didn't matter to me."

 

"Why didn't you talk about it if it didn't matter?"

 

"What? You think I was a whimpy kid, a loser, and a cry baby? I could have talked about it if I wanted to, but, out of respect for my father, I kept my mouth shut."

 

"Do you think a bigot and a racist is qualified to be President of the United States?"

 

"Why wouldn't he be if he can do the job?"

 

"Well, the president is supposed to represent all of the people. Do you see yourself representing all of the people?"

 

"Of course, I'm qualified. I'm president aren't I? And yes, I represent Blacks and Whites and people of all colors...all colors.""

 

"Do you understand the issues that people of color are faced with which concern them and do you intend to address these issues?"

 

"Of course, I understand their issues, I'm a very smart man. And, I'm already addressing them. Attorney General Sessions is working on making the legal system tougher and better to protect Blacks and Whites and to help our police. That's the most important thing, you know, protecting our law enforcement officers."

 

"So, you see the biggest issue people of color are faced with as being a legal system that's not tough enough and protecting the police? Aren't there too many people of color being imprisoned, falsely arrested or detained because of racial profiling, and too many black men unnecessarily killed by police?

 

"People don't understand how law enforcement works, but, I do. Policemen are being killed, too. It's a terrible thing. We want to protect everybody."

 

"What about equality for people of color, jobs, education, accessible and affordable housing, business loans, systemic racism and discrimination? -And, help for the people of Puerto Rico?"

 

"I'm taking care of all of that. You'll be seeing my job plan in a short amount of time--a very short amount of time."

 

"A job plan for Blacks and people of color?"

 

"--For everybody. I can't discriminate. It'll be for everybody. Everybody will be taken care of. I've got the best people working on it. You'll see...in a short amount of time.

 

It's been nice talking to you. Great interview...

 

"Well, I wanted to get to foreign affairs, taxes, healthcare, and..."

 

"You should have started with that.  Great interview. Send us a copy of the transcript and footage before you air the interview so we can approve it.  Leave out the part about my father being a bigot, although it doesn't matter anyway. I'M PRESIDENT! My people love me! They knew about me and my father and they still elected me anyway. They love Trump! Did you cover election night and the inauguration? Great crowd, right? Biggest we've ever seen.

 

 

"One more question, Mr. President, if you don't mind."

 

"Sure, go right ahead."

 

"Is this all a show, I mean what you say on television and how you act. Is it part of a plan to fool people and your enemies like you said?"

 

"What do you mean, "all a show"? This is me. I don't have to put on a show. T.V. didn't make me. I was Donald Trump before t.v. They wanted me because I was Donald Trump. They kept saying, "Trump can make us money. Trump will get us good ratings and put us on top. That's why I'm president. I'm a deal maker. That's what Trump does. Are you trying to ask me if I'm in my right mind. I know what people are saying about me because of you reporters and the rest of the  fake news media. That's why I don't give interviews to fake news. Are you fake news? Are you going to run a fake story on me?"

 

"No, Mr. President. I just want to cover all sides and get honest answers, that's all. Thank you. I'll get out of your hair now, I mean I'll get going now, I know you're busy. Thanks again. Goodbye."

 

"Can you believe that guy? -Fake news, all of them. I hate the fake media. -Trying to prove that I'm unstable. Trump isn't unstable is he?"

 

Continuing to talk to himself, the president takes out his cellphone. Huffing and puffing in an irate fit, he begins tweeting.

 

 

"Hi, Dad! Who are you talking to?"

 

"Oh, nobody in particular, Ivanka. Trump told me to tweet.