There I was, a $12 beer in one hand, my wallet clenched firmly in the other. A guy who looked eerily like Redfoo from LMFAO kept asking me for my Whatsapp contact as underground rap music from the early 1990s shook the bass and in turn the floor beneath me. Was I in a trendy neighborhood in Southern California? A University bar in London? The set of a reality TV show? Nope, Geneva, Switzerland. The home of cheese with holes in it, neutrality, chocolate, and apparently-- overpriced alcoholic beverages.

In retrospect, the fact that Switzerland is expensive shouldn't have come as a shock to me. Rich people put their money into Swiss banks to become even richer. Sports cars and well-dressed tall people surrounded me-- a petite girl dropping bread crumbs on the ripped leggings she's been wearing for the past three days. It was embarrassing.

I went to Switzerland because I found a cheap flight and because I like snow. While there, I went to Geneva, Lausanne, and two other cities with names I can't remember nor pronounce. I didn't really have a plan nor did I have sufficient funds. The sad fact that these two prerequisites were not met eventually led me abandoned in a small village on top of the Swiss Alps where the only open store was a cheese shop (how stereotypically Swiss). Now, I won't divulge how I got to this mountain top nor how I got out for the purposes of brevity and maintaining a life of mystery. But I will divulge that I ate approximately three pounds of cheese and almost vomited approximately three times.

Switzerland was a fun and strange place and my entire time there made me feel like an under-dressed fool. If you are planning on going to Switzerland I highly suggest you do and I suggest that you fly SwissAir and flirt with the flight attendant in order to get unlimited airline chocolate. If you have no intention of going to Switzerland I suggest that you at least fly SwissAir so that you can flirt with the flight attendant in order to get unlimited airline chocolate.

Published by Jenna Finnis