Often someone will come up to me and ask "Why are you so sweet?" I reply with a dull smirk not because of my vanity or self-consumption but of the memories that haunt me. Every day I try to suppress and hide those recollections with the intent to keep a smile on my face. From my past, I have a full understanding of abandonment, loss, and pain which fuels my motive to be kind to everyone and anyone. There is a quote that says " The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."

Why am I so Dearest? 

I was left alone at a young age to defend and care for my siblings. I had no guidance on the right paths to take. I had no one to hold me tight when the storms would roll through. Too often would I see offensive and foul words thrown in my direction. Never shown what healthy was. So, I was that fat kid in class who bore a hoodie to take away from my weight. No one would date me, and no one would show me mercy on my appearance. As a kid, I saw only petty love and nothing more. To this day I have issues with abandonment and love. Finding myself lonely and afraid of the unknown I lay wide awake at night walking with my demons on my make-believe sidewalk. Trying to make sense of life and the point of continuation. Trying to find anything to get excited about in hopes to stop me from slipping into a hole of complete darkness and utter despair. I am sweet in hopes to make someone's day and to show them the love and compassion I never got to experience. I smile so bright to hide the pain I carry every day; I act goofy to distract myself from the pain tugging at my heart.

-Truly Yours, Mister Ho.

 

 

Published by Branden Ho