“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

I think when your mum asks about your love life, and you tell her there’s not much to report, and her response is “boringggg,” you need to take a good hard look at yourself.


So I’m going to be 27 this year, I’m very single and have been for a while, although my heart was misplaced for a period of time I wouldn’t have quite called myself unavailable, meaning I haven’t been called someones girlfriend for over 2 years.


At this point in my life, and anyones life in their 20’s, I don’t think the point is to find a boyfriend. But I also don’t think the point is to have as many one night stands as you can fit into a decade either, which would be 3,650 if we’re talking mathematics. People always say to people in their 20’s “oh you’re still young, you don’t need a boyfriend, why do you want to be tied down, just enjoy life…” and all the rest of it. Well yeah, absolutely, but why do I have to “date” a tonne of guys in the process? And I use the word “date” very loosely here to keep the blog of a sanitary nature, but you catch my drift.


As much as I’m not holding out until marriage, I’m also not sleeping around for the sake of it. Don’t get me wrong, the opportunities are not exactly far and wide, and it was a quick way to learn my french phone number off by heart, but being "the most beautiful girl in the place,"* (*disclaimer: for one night only), gets old pretty quickly. And maybe I’m a minority when it comes to 20-somethings but I’m not the kind of person who enjoys superficial encounters. I need substance or I’m just not interested. Also, I need at least 3 years on my age to even start to have an even intellectual playing field - sounds super bitchy I know, but its all coming from experience.


I think I’ve always known this about myself but its become so apparent since living abroad with many others who are also living abroad and are taking the opportunity to “live it up” so to speak. For me, just because I’m living on the other side of the world doesn’t mean that I’m a different person to who I am back home in the sense of my personal morals, self respect and expectations of others. I wouldn’t go home with someone from a bar back home, so why would I do it here? I wouldn’t kiss someone who had a girlfriend back home, so why would I do that here either? I'm not quite sure if its Europe, or if its just my generation, but its really not my scene and I’m not even sad about it. If its yours, great, baby llama don’t want no drama.


Before I left home everyone had said to me “you’re going to meet someone and you’re not going to come back,” and this comment, even though it came from all those who I love the most, really made me mad. It made me mad because it makes the purpose of what I’m doing about someone else. Someone else who doesn’t even exist yet. Who is a total stranger, yet the hinge of this time in my life, apparently?


Well my answer to that, is no. Above any boy thus far, even the ones I’ve actually loved, Paris has always been my biggest love and now I’m building bigger plans for bigger cities and the common denominator in it all, is me. Im not trying to get all feminist up in here, and “who needs guys anyway” kind of rubbish, because lets face it, I like boys and I like to kiss them! But I’m never going to let a guy stop me from doing what I want to do in life and I’m not roaming the world in search of "the one." And in that case, maybe I’ll be single forever? #crazycatlady or #drunkauntyyoudontliketoinvitetoparties


So, sorry mum if maybe that makes me boring, and maybe I’m not living out my 20’s to their full potential, but I’m sure if you had heard a different response that you’d be wishing I had said “non existent.” I have far bigger fish to fry other than finding my Nemo.


Published by Stephanie Rose