I don’t think I know anyone who could ever say they never took a negative comment personally. Words…Just sound waves bouncing off the walls, do they truly have any effect?

As the saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. The individual who stated this must’ve been in some form of denial. I think why that phrase is used so frequently is because people want it to be true. They don’t want words to hurt so badly, for they are only that! Words. Well, if we look past the denial we can see very well that approval of others is prevalent in our society and I suppose has always been.

Let me get you thinking. Have you ever went and bought something that you absolutely loved! Maybe it was those bright Nike shoes or those cool ripped jeans: but as soon as you started to wear them in your daily lives, people started making comments and not the ones you wanted to hear. They would make sarcastic jokes; Asking you, “did you seriously buy those”?

Now, can I ask what you would do after that day? Can I guess what you would do?   You would never wear those items again. Why is the question, though. Just because EVERYONE was telling you indirectly not too? When did they get such power over you?– You gave them this power; the good thing is since you gave it…you can take it back! Here’s how!

Okay. I know this might be hard to hear, but hear me out! If you want to stop being affected by people’s words and taking everything personally, you have to reject both the good and bad. Yes, the good.

You’re in a rush for class or work. You woke up late and have no idea what you’re going to wear! All your nice clothing is in the wash and the only thing you have left is that old, raggy shirt and pants; which you think is the ugliest piece of shit you have ever laid your eyes. You see no choice and wear the outfit; feeling insecure… but soon your idea of your outfit and esteem will change.

Walking down the hall at school (work) you had three people already compliment your outfit! You can’t believe it, but you run with the generous comments. You feel amazing; empowered. From that day on, that ugly piece of clothing you thought it was became your favorite just because EVERYONE else thought it looked good…From the surface, this looks like a happy story but if you look closely it really is a despairing one; not only for yourself but to see where humanity has ended up.

You see. You are allowing people to define you and not just by allowing others to give you a label, but dictating what you think, like and behave as! Isn’t that insane?

That is the reason you take everything so personally, especially those negative comments because you rely on others for the positive ones too to give you worth. You can’t have the best of both worlds as our friend Hannah Montanna once said. It isn’t possible. If you take one, you have to take the other.

Will you allow comments like, You’re ugly, unoriginal, stupid, etc to define you? Will you allow people to control how you dress and act? If so, I’m sorry and I wish you well but…if you want to be happy and be free. Take this tip, throw out ALL the words from people around you out the window. Love yourself. Act how you want. Think the way you want. Just be happy.

People telling you uplifting things won’t change how you feel or think of yourself. Of course, out of politeness, you thank them and you may even allow it to make you feel great at the moment but you won’t mediate on their words to define you. And when someone is directly or indirectly rude to you, guess what? Their words won’t mean anything, you will look at them and rather feeling hatred for them you will feel sadness for them; that they have to pull others down to give themselves meaning. You know who you are and what you want. The words of others, both good and bad, do not define you, change your mood or behavior, it no longer controls you. You finally control YOU and if others will dislike or stray away from you for being true to yourself, you’re better off without them; they never truly cared about you in the first place.

Imagine the world. Where everyone would just be themselves. Love themselves completely and others. Be ever so happy and try to the best of their ability to make the earth a better place…

Now. That would be heaven on earth and you can join in on this notion if you want just by first loving yourself. Loving your true nature. Once you learned to love yourself it is nearly impossible not to love others. The word vomit of humans won’t matter, what only will matter in your eyes is how to create and show love.

Check out this article on my personal blog: https://wondrousuniverse.wordpress.com/2016/10/07/dont-take-any-of-it-personally/

Published by Michelle Tulik