After spending far too long in a toxic relationship, I've learned to see things differently. Not everything is life or death, things don't always go your way and that's just life most of the time, no need to point fingers and place blame and you should NEVER stay with someone who makes you feel that you're worthless and you will never find someone any better. I don't talk about that almost decade I spent believing I deserved that, but so many women are in this place and I would only hope one of them will read this and know she's not alone. 

Emotional abuse IS abuse, and nobody deserves that. I don't know what it is with us humans and needing physical proof that someone is in pain or we just don't want to deal with it, this is along the same lines as yelling "fire!" If you're being attacked. This is not okay. Just because the person being abused doesn't ask for help does not mean they don't need it. 

Feeling trapped in a relationship is something I don't wish on anyone. I spent year trying to claw my way out, only to get knocked back down again (figuratively speaking). One day, he just never came home, I was being unreasonable for making him "babysit" his own kids, and that was it, even though I had the last minute stress of finding a babysitter in less than 24 hours, I have never felt that kind of relief, i no longer had to dread going home. It was freeing to regain control of my life and kids. 

Makes me curious though, what kind of story do his ex girlfriends have on him?  He would never "allow" me to talk to them and I think I know why now. 

Please try to remember that all stories have 2 sides, and it's not about who's lying and who's not, it's about perception and emotions, and anyone in a toxic relationship is going to have a whole gamut of emotions they have been hiding behind their smile. So let them talk, sometimes things don't feel real until they are said out loud. 

Being strong is not about a person that doesn't cry, but a person who cries, and feels things so deeply, they are sure there is a void where their heart should be. Strong is the women/men who face their fears and push ahead no matter how much it hurts. 

Published by Liz Zemlicka