You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cannot pick your friends nose.

No body is perfect, but with 7 billion people on this Earth, we can all find people we at least enjoy being around. There has to be somebody out there (anybody!!!) to make somebody else feel accepted and happy.

And yet, you constantly hear people bitching about their boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, friends at school, friends from home, friends from work, etc., etc.

At this point in my life, I can roll my eyes at those people and tell them there are a million other fish in the sea to choose from, so stop wasting their time on one schmuck.

At this point in my life, I can recognize people I vibe with and make a point to keep them close, and keep the others far away.

But at another point in my life, I was miserable. I was miserable and I knew it was because of the people I was surrounding myself with. Their negative attitudes, their jaded persona that made them too cool to make new friends, their seemingly inability to talk about anything but other people or how hip they are with their organic diets, their unwillingness to want to do anything but stay inside and smoke weed.

Or my ex boyfriend. I knew he was bringing me down. I knew he was holding me back from doing what I truly wanted to do. I was constantly upset at him yelling at me for being “a shitty girlfriend.” I constantly felt stupid when I brought him along to my plans and he would just mope in the corner, with all my friends wondering why I was wasting my time with him. I constantly had to keep a façade on so he would not start a fight with me in public. 

But we don’t need to dwell on the past like that. Bottom line is in both situations I was extremely unhappy and it took me forever to actually do something about that. I wanted to make the relationship what I thought it would be when it began. I was too insecure, who else will want to be my friend/girlfriend? If I lose these people, I will have no one. I thought I needed them. I thought they needed me. I thought we were too codependent to be able to function alone.

But then I guess I gained the security I needed to get out of dodge. Other girls started showing interest in being my friend; other boys started hitting on me. So I realized the truth: there are so many more people out there who actually bring me positive energy, I can forget the rest.

Once I did rid these people from my life, God did it feel good. I started talking to boys I could have stimulating conversations with; boys who would give me genuine compliments and never pointed out my flaws. I started making friends with girls who didn’t make me feel bad about myself, with girls who wanted to be positive and active, with girls who actually made me the best person I could be.

And life has been so much better since then. I don’t feel bad about leaving those people, if anything, I feel stupid for putting up with them for so long. There are so many people out there who can make you happy, you don’t need anybody around who makes you anymore miserable than you already are.

Published by Anne Flamio