I hate failure. I hate the way that it makes you feel disappointed in yourself and the way that it allows whatever you failed at to make you feel as though your not good enough. I’ve numerously scrolled through various forms of social media to see quotes on how failure makes you a better - stronger - person. People say you learn better from failure than from success, which up until recently seemed like the most stupid of things to say. Like, who would learn better from failing? Wouldn’t success make you a stronger more confident person? Well, after failing a university paper that I thought was going to be the beginning o a five year degree, I saw the failure as a sign which made me stronger.

In high school, if I loved a subject then I would do really well in it. However if it wasn’t exactly my thing then I would either not pass, or if so, It would be on the bones of my ass. I never thought anything of it because what 16/17 year old analyses their grades for a subject they were basically forced to take. Looking back now, I see the reasons why I didn’t do as well in subjects like science, accounting and P.E but why I was receiving excellencies in history, media studies and english. It was because I had a love for the subjects.

In retrospect, failing a law paper in my first semester of my first year of university is probably the biggest blessing in disguise. Despite that I loved learning what I did in the paper, the ways in which I needed to regurgitate the information isn’t exactly the way I think or write. Doing five years of it would have drained me and meant I was forcing myself to think in a way I don’t usually think in. I’m not looking at the failure as me giving up. I’m choosing to continue my year and progress in what I’m good at and what I love.

Failure does make you stronger, because how would it make you weaker. It makes you stronger through the acceptance of your loss at success, through the way you learn how to overcome the word and through the way you choose to move forward and learn from the experience. Nobody is that perfect in life that they never experience a form of failure in one way or another. It’s a part of life. You can’t prevent it, stop it or avoid it. Neither can I and that is perfectly okay. Everyone has their paths in life already mapped out.

This law paper was obviously something that needed to be a part of my life in order for me to feel the form of failure in my uni life - which is 100% good. It was able to show me life. Life in its cruelest form. Seeing the result of my paper on screen, along with the email informing me I had not passed so would no longer be progressing into the second semester of law was heart crushing. I bawled my eyes out and with that I have no shame because failing hurts. You feel as though you’ve let yourself down, you become disappointed in yourself for not trying hard enough.

Truth is; I did try my hardest. I don’t think I could have tried any harder without stressing myself out. This is what made me realise how failure makes you stronger. I tried. I gave it my all. Yet, I still came out of that paper with a D grade average. From that I learnt that law isn’t for me and I cannot spend the next five years forcing myself into something that isn’t who I am and what I love. It would be cruel to myself. Life is full of failure and success. You can’t have one without the other because you can never truly appreciate success without knowing the feeling of failure.

Published by Kyla McLean