Feeling disconnected? You are not alone. Human beings are wired for connection. Some more than others, but all of us need a steady flow of connectivity in our lives.  Electronic tools create the illusion of connection, until we are alone. Then the real feelings of emptiness begin to resurface. We have a couple choices, continue to plug in online or connect with living beings.
 
Some Solutions:
  1. First define what you mean by disconnected. Are you physically alone? Do you feel lonely yet surrounded by people? Do you feel unheard or do you lack self, family or community acceptance? Feeling invisible in a crowded room. Gaining clarity on the root cause of your needs is the first place to start. Take the right medicine for the right dis-ease.
  2. Learn to invest more in yourself not in objects or things. Engage in activities that keep you flowing such as good nutrition, exercise/activity, social engagement (join an activity group). Many of these activities require very little money, but help to engage your senses and others.
  3. Surround yourself with those who genuinely care about you. Sometimes we feel disconnected in company, because we are surrounded by those who do not care about us or have little interest in us.  If you don't have any close relationships, no worries. Make a commitment to get started where you are now. Relationship building takes time. This does not happen overnight. Nurturing healthy relationships is a skill anyone can learn.
  4. Eat in community (nothing like breaking bread in fellowship). Look for social activivies that invite you to eat in company. No, I'm not encouraging overeating or using food for comfort. Here, I'm referring to learning to share with others.  In some cultures eating alone is unthinkable as it often shows a lack of unity in the community.
  5. Facing a challenge? Don't go at it alone. Ask for help and accept it when given freely, help bring you closer to others in your life. Sometimes people want to help, but are waiting to be asked.
  6. Focus on experiencing life. Fill your Soul with life experiences and priceless moments.  If you have a busy schedule, put it on your calendar. Sometimes, we become passive observers. Learn to engage life by doing something new. Participate more in creating your experiences.
  7. Be around people who share your values. Feeling disconnected can come from being around those who do not share our values.  We may communicate, but cannot understand each other. We end up feeling as if we are speaking a different language. Know your values and ask questions to learn the values of others in your surroundings.
  8. Take responsibility for your mistakes, failures, and negative consequences.  Sometimes we feel disconnected because we are stuck in our own self-punishing void because of a mistake or life imbalance. It helps to learn to identify those times, take responsibility, learn from your life lessons and move on. We do need to take time out, but we may linger in the void longer than required for our own good. You may find it easier to move out of the "prison" we've created and find the courage to face life again.
  9. Talk to a stranger or learn about other cultures. Don't limit yourself to those you know and feel comfortable around. Sometimes we need the opposite. We need to explore the company of other people that appear different from us. Expanding your mind in medicinal doses is good for your Soul.
  10. Be compassionate. Are you living compassionately? Do you feel and show concern for others or are you obsessed with you and your problems. People often avoid those who are self absorbed. there's nothing in it for them.
  11. Take more risks. Until you venture outside your comfort zone, you will continue to experience the same things.  Are you afraid of social engagements and intimacy? Become aware of your own issues and take the necessary steps.
  12. Become a good "mentee." Sometimes we need help from a teacher. But first ask, would you mentor yourself? Are you open, flexible, resilient, and respectful? Then open to learning from someone who has been on a similar path.
  13. Take no days off. I'm not talking about overdoing or overworking. I mean stay alive every day by engaging the natural world around you.  Sometimes we need to connect with nature to reground, rebalance, and to re-harmonize ourselves. Leave the zombie lifestyle for movies.  Be around living organisms and have some fun!

 

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In Spirit!

Irmina "Tutu" Ulysse