Hello friends!

I will soon turn 18 and I know I do not have the tiniest bit of experience as compared to a lot of people, but I sure have understood and learnt a lot of things in life. I have so much more to learn, so much more to explore. Here are the feelings that I have caught. Some bitter, some sweet

When I am walking back home, a random girl who is around 7 years-old with her little brother in her arms comes to me. She asks me for some money. I have nothing to give her, but the books in my bag. I tell her I have nothing and she walks away with disappointment. I feel helplessness.

When I see people ignoring transgender people on the roads, like they don't exist and they don't have to eat to live, I realize that I am a part of the society, that continues to pretend that the third gender are 'sinners' and incapable than the rest of us. I feel shame.

I hear about crimes and about a woman dressed in rags injecting a baby with something and then continuing to beg saying that the kid hasn't eaten for days. Is it even her baby? Is someone actually ready to harm a baby for fulfilling their needs? Maybe, a yes. I feel fear.

When I glance back on the three above experiences, I fail to recognize who is genuine and needy and who isn't. I feel confusion.

When I hear about the women who put false allegations on men, knowing that there are plenty of feminist groups that will help them (even without proof), I feel anger.

When I am trying hard to put my thoughts on paper (or computer screen) and I am just not able to, when I hit the backspace key a lot more to erase the imperfect lines that I wrote, I feel frustration.

When I hear the news of the death of soldiers (who are no way related to me), I feel sadness.

When I watch the Republic Day parade on television, I feel the need to watch it again. I feel the need to experience it in person. That one is patriotism.

When I heard about ISRO launching many satellites at once, I understand that there many Indian minds behind this. I feel pride.

When I am walking alone in a street (being stared at by a group of men), a Muslim woman offers me a drop till the next road, I feel relief. The reason I had to mention that the woman was Muslim was because that is the religion that accused of a lot of things. But not all are the same. There are virtuous ones, as well. We don't need these invisible lines to separate us.

When it is raining heavily and you are taken under shelter of an umbrella of a stranger, you feel kindness.

As I walk in the village where my parents, uncles and aunts have grown up, I realize that where you come from/what facilities you get, do not matter. Only hard-work pays off.

When I see my hard-work pay off, I feel happiness.

When I get a call from friends and they tell you that they are visiting, I feel joy.

When I finally meet my friends after long and realize we are same goofy people (dressed up like normal, serious adults), I feel satisfaction.

When I have to say good-bye to them, I feel pain. Yes, I know I can meet them again.

I am just 17 and when I think of what life has in store for me, I feel excitement.

There is a lot more to learn. And I would love to learn through all the lessons that life decides to teach me, the bitter ones and the sweet ones.

Thanks for reading!


Chinmayi Hegde


Published by Chinmayi Hegde