As women when we search for that special someone in life, make a list of what is important to you. Be realistic in want you want.

For myself, I did not have a long list of standards but I did have rock solid idealism of what that special person absolutely must have.

  • At bare minimum, they must have a job equal to mine or better.
  • Must have their own place, a rental is fine.
  • Must have a car because I will not be your driver.
  • Must have a wonderful personality
  • Great sense of humor, because I have one.
  • You must be clean.
  • The least important thing to me is what they looked like. I know that sounds foolish but I have never found myself interested in a person based on the way the look. The most important physical feature to me is the height. There must be something about the person that stands out to me. Maybe the way they talk, walk, their smile, their hair, something of that nature. I have been fortunate to have very good-looking people in my life, but there were a few that were questionable. I would have to say if I had to pick my favorite type of man, he would be in a category I call SEXY UGLY.

This is difficult for me because I have never had a type. All tall but not one person I have ever dated had anything similar to each other in any way.

SEXY UGLY men would be my favorite without a doubt. Nothing is more attractive to me then a man who is in that category. Not every woman will understand my sexy ugly theory or agree with it but it's okay because I am not here for anyone's acceptance and you shouldn't either.

Not every woman will find that perfect person and I certainly didn't find mine so easy. You must go through a few of the bad seeds to learn what type of person is worthy of you.

My list of standards is quite simple you might think but when it comes to finding a mate, that list seems difficult. A difficult task in finding my perfect match. I do absolutely believe in online matching but you have to not be stupid and clueless. Do not get caught up in a person who is not real.

In my life, I have always been a risk taker and in my past have met people from the internet. At one point in my life, I was just so fed up with the lack of choices I had in finding someone perfect for me. There was a few good people I did meet, but I didn't run off and meet just anyone.

The most important thing I did for myself was getting established in life in terms of getting my life right. Another thing I did for myself and it saved me from drama and stupidity. My level of self-esteem, build, build and build some more. Even on my worst day, a person cannot make me feel worthless and ladies men will try to do this from time and time. Do not fall into it, once you show them they can break you down it will only continue.

The best thing to do is learn how to shut down and walk away from the person who does this to you. I have learned men are the way they are and it is easier to walk away and forget them rather than stay and attempt to change them.

In my experiences what I have learned about love, it is something that feels good. Not sad, depressed or lonely. Love is fulfilling, interesting and exciting. Love is not pain. Love is not questioning, guessing, wondering and worrying. Love is trust, joy and happiness. Love is true and real when it is right.

You cannot make someone love you know matter what you do. If he or she does not love you when the time is right, they will never love you and it's time to walk away.

I feel bad for women who open themselves up to enter this world of confusion that comes with false love. There is no real rule book on what to do when it comes to love and romance but as women we have a six sense and we know. The signs are always there, face them and it will save you so much time and heartache. Love yourself enough and know your self-worth is priceless. Treat yourself like a goddess and don't allow anyone to treat you as if you are less. Remember people can only do to you what you allow them to do. So if your caught up in a bad relationship or life situation don't blame other people. Wake up blame you and then figure out how to walk away. Not one person in life has the right to treat you as if you are trash.


Published by Josephine Conde