Good morning everyone!

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling depressed and quite low. I’ve been prescribed new medication, Fluoxetine 20mg and at first I thought that it wasn’t working so some days I wouldn’t take it and I then didn’t take it for 3 days and then when I did take it I managed to clean my whole bedroom and fold my clothes and hang some of my clothes in my wardrobe, cook breakfast in bed for my boyfriend with a hot cup of tea and make him pack-up for work.. And later on I even cooked him dinner, hoovered my bedroom (again) wash the new bedding I had bought and then put the new bedding on and then take a shower.

I don’t normally clean my bedroom let alone fold and hang up my clothes, this was quite a omg moment because I don’t know where I had this burst of motivation from. I now have a somewhat routine, if I wake up I feed the cats and make myself a drink and relax in bed before I get dressed. I do feel quite happier now that my bedroom is clean and my boyfriend even said that he’s proud of me. I am normally a messy cow, I normally have all my clothes on the floor so it feels weird to see the floor.

So right now I’m just relaxing writing this blog and drinking some hot tea whilst my little Gizmo lays at my side with my sleeping boyfriend. I feel happy and content, I will be applying for jobs as I don’t have one at the moment and then later on today I will be going to the doctors because my blood tests results came back okay but I need fixing, I will explain later in another blog after the visit. I’m going to ask them to maybe write down what’s wrong with me so I can explain it to you guys. But I will be having my first ever smear test and I’m rather anxious.

I’ve never had a smear test before so I will be writing about that too and encouraging other women like me to have it done because of Cancer. I think I’m more worried that they’ll do the test and then tell me I have cancer, I think I’m just scared of the whole process and how they do it to be honest. If anyone who follows me has had a smear test please do email me as it would be nice to talk to someone who’s had it done so I can put my fears aside.

I will be having a flu jab, smear test and I’m picking more medication up but it’s only vitamins as I have a vitamin deficiency because of the sun, I don’t get enough of it so Lizzie (Nurse/doctor) said that they’ll help because the lack of vitamins in my body would make me tired but I will explain what she says to me later in detail in another blog.

If anyone needs someone to talk to whether you’re feeling depressed or alone, just send me an email and I will talk to you. You can also email me if you just want someone to talk to. Whatever it is, just remember you’re valued and you’re loved AND you matter! ❤

Have a great morning!

Love from

The Girl In The Shadows