"Some grandparents and grandparenting groups have adapted Gardner's ideas. They have created the term grandparent alienation syndrome to describe a scenario in which a child is programmed to reject a grandparent. This programming can be carried out by either or both parents. The most prominent group using the term GAS is Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, or AGA, which is based in Florida but has outreach operations in many states." http://grandparents.about.com/od/Grandparents-Rights/g/Grandparent-Alienation-Syndrome.htm " Let's talk about it, because it's not talked about I like to talk about issues that are close to home to me.. because well I can relate to them and give my insight on them.. Today I choose to talk about grandparent alienation. It's far too common than I thought it was and I guarentee at least 5 if not more people on my friends list is dealing with it in one way or another. From personal experience it's a horrible thing to deal with as a child. Let me start with my own experience.. Between the ages of 7 and 18 I never got to see my grandparents of my mom's side, it went from seeing them 3+ times a week, to no contact what so ever. Birthday cards were sent back, phone calls weren't allowed, and visiting was out of the question since we moved to a different state. All because my grandma didn't agree with my mother's new husband choice which she had reason not to (whole other story). From a child's perspective it sucked not being able to see or talk to my grandma whom I saw on a regular basis. That hurt, to think that i did something wrong that now I wasn't allowed to see them. Mentally it gets to you, growing up thinking that family disappears. Grandparent alienation can be a form of child abuse. From my experience and from what I've seen most grandparent alienation happens because of a grudge. It happens because the parent is angry with thier parent about something they said to them or a disagreement. It's a different story if the grandparent was abusive to the parent and that's why the child is being kept away, however in most cases it's the grandparent looking out in the best interest of the child and it happens to be the opposite of what the parent thinks is right. In the end the child is the one that suffers in this. It's the child that wonders why mommy or daddy are mad at grandpa and grandma that makes them not allowed to see them. I guess this subject means so much to me because I've been through it, i've grown through it and I know how it feels to be that child. Frankly it sucks, that I had to wait til I was out of the house living on my own to even have contact with my own grandparents.. they did nothing wrong to me and I should have had the opportunity to make a decision for myself at some point. You don't have to get along with your parents, you don't even have to agree with everything they say. Don't make your child lose the chance to get to know thier grandparents because you are mad at them. You may think that's your way of sticking it to them but what your actually doing is sticking it to your child. Just like it's not thier fault when mommy and daddy split up, it's not thier fault when parents and grandparents don't get along. Grandparents do a lot for thier grandchildren, emotionally, and mentally. Grandparents help children learn about themselves, where they come from and remind them that they are loved beyond thier parents and siblings. It's unfortunate that there are grandparents that choose themselves not to be in the child's life but there is only so much we can do and it's up to you to do what you can. Whether you see it now or not, it can cause emotional damage to the child/children in the middle of it all. It's not fair. Now granted there are certain circumstances where it's best for the child and the parent to stay away... but if your just mad at the grandparent and that's the reason you aren't letting them see thier grandchildren, suck it up and let the child see thier relative. It will only look bad on the side that didn't try. I think I'll stop here unless there is some input that yall would like to comment, I'll be happy to respond :)

Published by Alissa Blassingame