My second article was going to be about another topic but it's currently saved as a draft for now and I will probably upload it on Friday at the latest so, I will be sure to share it with you. But, today is quite an emotional one for myself. I rarely talk about this but in honor of the ones no longer present, I will.


Today marks the 15th anniversary of my grandfather's passing away as well as the 2nd month of being without my beloved grandmother, both of whom I miss terribly and wish I could have one last hug from.

​From an early age, I was always at my grandparents' house, playing with my favorite toys and hugging them continuously, even though at times, I could be quite the little diva, but they loved me regardless.

​When my grandfather died, I was perhaps too young to understand the grieving process, attending the funeral is something I was unaware of, yet I knew this would be his final resting place, in the ground.

​You could imagine how broken inside his widow must have been. After all, she witnessed him collapse from a fatal heart attack. Yet, she organized the funeral like it was her last task, even though it broke her heart to know that she'd be alone, without him. She never once complained in the 15 years she had left on this planet, not once. I guess that's why I saw her as a role model to me, she displayed this incredible strength, her composure in the hardest of days. To this day, I admire her selflessness, her compassion to every person that ever witnessed her caring nature, and the way she kept smiling through the pain as if it never existed.

​She battled endless health problems later in life, all from diabetes to cancer, she was in remission many times before the cancer that took her life, spread to parts of her that made it terminal, unable to treat, she even refused medical treatment because she didn't want to ask for help, she always helped herself and the ones around her throughout life, so I can imagine how it would affect her, knowing she needed full-time care as time went on and everything got worse. In 2015, it had been ten years since I was able to see her, the dementia had progressed, and she couldn't even remember who I was, heartbroken was an understatement but I loved her, no matter what. Seeing her once in those ten years, I used to blame myself, but my family were struggling enough as it was, and we all know how expensive travel can be.

But, regardless, I was glad to have seen her once, even if it was the last time I'd ever witness the beautiful human being I had looked up to my whole life. She was slowly becoming my guardian angel. I was in pain, knowing she was hurting and I couldn't prevent it, or stop it. On the 18th of May of this year, I got a call from my mother who rushed to be by her own mother's side because she had received the news that my grandmother would be gone soon, and on the boat to France, she found out that it was too late, and that her mother passed away shortly before midnight, on the 19th, with a few people by her bedside.

​When I got the call from my brother, I had just woken up, and hearing the news, I was unable to sleep for the rest of the night and I stayed up for 24 hours straight. Attending her funeral the next month, it was the most bittersweet day of my entire life, but it was a beautiful send-off for a beautiful angel. Oh, my heart.


​RIP to my beloved grandparents, I'm glad you're together once again. I miss and love you so much.



 

Published by Mila Christiansen