What an amazing time of reflection I’ve had over this last little while. I sat and poured over my heart to see where I could be a better man. Where I could be closer to God. I’ve read countless articles and listened to many sermons and lectures. I’ve found bits and pieces that speak to me but realized that I’m lost in a healthy place. This isn’t a moment of being off of God’s path, I just sat to evaluate my journey thus far and the direction it is going. I realized that receiving love is difficult so I explored that. The sources I’ve found talk about not having God’s love and I don’t ever question that I don’t have it. I just question by ability to receive it and let love be my guide. I want so badly to know that my path is that of God that I wonder into testing each obstacle to see if it is one of God. I felt it put on me that sin will draw us away and God will wait patiently for us to return to Him. I know that my path is not one of sin, not that little sin doesn’t creep in due to my fallen nature. But my overall path is one where I look to God for His leading and His provision. He speaks into my life through scripture and supernatural provision so clearly that I can’t deny that He holds my hand as I yearn for Him. Many of His greatest provisions aren’t seen until we have moved past them. I struggled through being cheated on, abandoned emotionally, and then put at fault for the ordeal. I think that most other people would have fallen apart in that struggle. The manipulation would have turned most to an unhealthy place. I fell into God’s word and asked Him to lead me, even if that was to stay put. He gave me a supernatural yearning for Him and a clarity in His word found only in His spirit. He spoke to my heart as well as my mind because His provision was for me. I put my head down and grabbed His hand as I walked through the darkness of doubt and fear. Was I lost, had I fallen too far for my God to catch me? As the turbulence settled I found the strength to lift my head and see where I was going. Then I realized the hand I was holding was that of one of His angels. I was holding the hand of God’s grace and mercy. With one look I realized that God had been molding me for more. He had been preparing my hand to hold the hand it was now in. All of the words about God’s love and grace made sense in the eyes of that angel. I saw the love He had for His child in real life, manifested in something made for me. I had no doubt that His thoughts during this handiwork were on me, His child. He knew my weaknesses and made those strengths for my angel. He gave His angel weaknesses that corresponded to my strength, which gave me purpose that my heart thrives on. He made Himself real to me, first in Jesus and now in something to call my own. He gave me the Eve to my Adam so that my walk with the Lord was never again to be alone. We were never made to be alone and He honored that in the perfect hand I was holding. What a blessing to know He loved me enough to give me the desire of my heart. What a blessing to know that the desire of my heart was put there by Him. Knowing I am standing on His path and walking in His light gives me an excitement that makes me love things so much more.

Published by Thomas Hopkins