“I never touched her.”

“I didn’t lay a hand on you.”

These are common phrases, often spouted when wounded people suggest that we have attacked them and we are certain that no physical contact was ever made.

We could be right. It is possible to never lay a hand on another human being in a negative way—and still communicate violence.

The hands are so expressive that they even emote gestures of touch.

Pointing a finger at someone in an accusatory manner often makes the person being accosted feel as if that digit is jabbing into his or her soul

Shaking a fist in traffic to communicate displeasure also carries the message that you might wish to put that same fist right in their nose.

And there’s no doubt that sprouting the middle finger is a huge proclamation that the person you are insulting isn’t worth any of your time or consideration.

The hands are so powerful that they don’t need to touch to be felt. Therefore, if someone points at me, makes a fist or gives me the middle finger, I often feel attacked.

But likewise, if someone reaches out with their hands, palms up, letting me know that they yearn for a connection, or if I’m at a concert or church and see an audience lift their hands in appreciation and adoration, I also feel that connection deep within my soul.

And if someone chooses not to give me the finger, but instead blows a kiss my way, I am moved, I feel attractive and I am touched.