This semester at school has been way different from any other one. I came back from abroad and it feels like a whole new place. There are so many people I do not say hi to anymore: I lost friends and gained others. There are so many places I won’t go to anymore, there are so many things I used to do that I do not think I am still capable of doing, even if I had a desire to so.

I’m going out less. I’m definitely not going to open houses like I always used to love to do. I’m not hooking up with boys. I don’t feel bad about not hooking up with boys. I’m busy. All. Of. The. Time.

So after realizing all of this the million-dollar question came out: “Am I lame?”

To which my friend replied, “no, we’ve just grown up.”

Thinking back to what we used to be and what we are now is weird. In two years of college we have all matured and grown in so many ways. We made mistakes, we fucked up bad, we embarrassed ourselves in the worst possible of ways. All the shit we would steal, all the boys we would fuck over, it was us taking advantage of our newfound freedom.

But now, we have internships. Now we take level 400 classes. We can’t be those people we were ever again, and we shouldn’t want to be.

This past weekend I visited my friend in Miami and she is experiencing similar feelings, but instead of her friends feeling the same way, they do not understand why she does not want to be the person she used to be. They get mad at her for not wanting to go out; they think she doesn’t care to make time for them.

And when she was telling me all this I could not help but to roll my eyes. And that is when I realized I changed for the better. I can’t go out every night and hang out with my friends all the time anymore; and if I did have time for that I feel like I would need to go over my values again.

Our days of shenanigans were fun, and we still have our shenanigans. They won’t ever be what they used to be again. We’re maturing and learning, we’re growing more into the people we are meant to be. We are meant to change, and if that means taking on more and more responsibility, than so be it. 

Published by Anne Flamio