Verbal abuse can begin as small digs disguised as jokes but Dear men, some words plant in our hearts. Especially from someone who claims to love you.

Your boyfriend or husband will tease, ridicules and humiliates you with sarcastic remarks about your appearance, abilities and values. If you tell him  “I don’t think that’s funny” Or “don’t use those words on me” he becomes defensive, irritated or angry. He tells you things like, You’re too sensitive Or “Can’t you take a joke?” 

abuse-4His blaming statements are convincing, causing you to question your ability to reason. You wonder if you are over-reacting and you doubt your own perception of his abuses. 

He would make comments about you in front of friends that mocks and belittles you which throws you off balance and it embarrasses and humiliates you. 

His friends may laugh at his verbal abuses but your heart feels the jabs and your brain struggles to interpret the true meaning of his put-down.If you show displeasure he gives you a hug and tell you he was only ‘kidding’.

Overtime his ridicule and put downs can severely damage your self esteem, sense of self and integrity.


I should have paid attention on the first time he said those hurtful words to me. 

I was from the salon but I did not like what the she had done to my hair. I hated the outcome. I was asleep when she was making my hair, because I was out the previous night. When she woke me up, I was so furious by what I saw on my head. So, I told her to undo and change the style. When I called him to tell him about my day at the salon, he says “Women who change their hairstyles on the same day are sluts!

abuse-2I was shocked at the response. 

He could hear the hurt in my voice but instead of apologizing he feigned innocence saying, ‘Oh, did I say something wrong?’ 

He swore he dint mean it but he never apologized. His sole purpose was to wound me with his spiteful put-down. 


When a guy humiliates you and says hurtful things to you he is really saying, ‘I can say whatever I want to say about you because you are my girl.’Understand that the sole purpose of his hostile humor is to victimize, belittle and insult you. If you don’t react to his ridicule, he won’t be able to control and have power over you.

Here are 4 examples of way’s you can stop reacting to verbal abuse:

  1. Refuse to be drawn into his attempt to put you down.
  2. Tell him you don’t appreciate being the butt of his humor and you want him to stop. and you want him to stop now!
  3. Ask him, ‘do you feel better now’ and leave the room. 
  4. Ignore him. Pick your phone and call a friend. Or take a drive. Or a walk. 

Get the picture?

Chances are your abusive partner will never change. But you can take your power back by changing the way you react to his verbal abuse.


Image source: Google




Published by Doreen Eshinali