How can people stand not to change?

I look at the clutter heaped around me. Today feels like it's been one long, drawn out sigh. Nothing's been done. Working was a long, hard slog. And I'm no further forward than I was yesterday. Everything is going at a snail's pace, and whatever could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. 

I know that all of my recent posts have been about Elul. Maybe it's getting boring. But every day, it hits me- hard!- how important this month is. Something will happen and my mind will link it to Elul, and I'll say to myself, "How can I not write an article about this?". Today's been incredibly frustrating. Everything about it has frustrated me. Because I feel like nothing's changing. Or if it is, we're going backwards. But as you know- sometimes a car needs to reverse before it can go in a different direction; in the right direction. 

That's what's happening here. I pray. But as I'm screaming in my head, "How can OTHER people stand not to change?", I realise I'm not changing either. And I need to. I won't wait until Rosh Hashanah to increase in Torah study and Tznius. 

Will you? 

Published by Lily Smythe