How expectations can ruin one's confidence. Really, how can it? Expectations usually mean that they believe in you. When you have high expectations of someone, it means you know that they are capable of something great right? You know that they will make something out of themselves? But, do you know how much this affects that person's confidence?

Sure, believing in someone is a great way to show your support specially if you actually mean it. But, being on the receiving end of that support is not always great. Confusing right? if you don't believe in someone you're a horrible person, if you do believe in someone it's still not good. WRONG! It is good to believe in someone specially if you know that they are capable of something great and that they do have the potential to be the person that you expect them to be, but reminding them everyday or every other week is not the way!

How expectations can ruin one's confidence.

There are students who a lot of people think is trouble and there are those who they think will "make it". Those who are expected to make it feel a certain obligation to actually make it, to the point where they feel an overwhelming pressure.

Overwhelming pressure.

Once a student or any younger person feels the overwhelming pressure of your expectations, well, their brain would feel like it's about to explode. They will want to make things happen right away and in an unrealistic phase. They pressure their selves to be faster, better and improve quicker than they actually could. It could lead to them getting less things done, achieving less than their actual potential because of all the freak out that your expectations are bringing to them.

This leads to them being anxious about their future and who they really are.

Being anxious about their future and who they really are.

Once they start feeling overwhelmed and worked slower because of all the things they start to do at once, they KNOW that they are working slower than they should and start feeling anxious about it. With this anxiousness come doubts about their own abilities, things that they knew right from the beginning they could do.

Due to the anxiousness that they feel, they may start doubting if they are actually good enough. "They expect me to be able to do this, but I'm just not that good." the scariest thought that a bright student could think of. Once you start expecting something out of someone and expressing those expectations towards him or her more regularly than you should, they could start feeling like you're expecting more out of them, more than what they can do. In short, you make them feel like they are lacking and not good at things that they are actually excelled in.

 

How expectations can ruin one's confidence.

Well there are a lot of ways but these are the two that I think are the biggest complications. So how about the next time you tell your younger sibling/ student/ daughter/ son how high your expectations are of them, ask them how they are progressing, ask them if they need help and listen.