Introduction Sentence: I exude confidence... I always appear happy and positive... But, like every other woman, I struggle with self worth and self love. I think it's important to show other women how normal this is... ❤️


How My Poor Self Worth Follows Me... And How It's Normal..


I realized a few years ago that my entire goal in life is to help women achieve a place of self love and self worth. I, myself, have struggled with self love and believe it helps to speak from experience. Through all these years of preaching, advice and positive upbeat conversations, I want it to be known that no matter how much I feel like I have a grip on my self worth, I realize, I'm as equally in control as I am out of control.

 

I am traveling in Southeast Asia right now and taking in some spectacular views. In just two weeks I have seen beautiful pagodas, temples and architecture. I've hiked through desert and lush forests with waterfalls. I am pretty much viewing the best creations that Mother Nature has to offer. One problem... For the first time in my life, I feel miserable and embarrassed about my own self image! I don't want to be in pictures! I don't want to take off my shorts and my shirt and frolic in the waters of the Kuang waterfall... I am ashamed of my body and I can't get a grip on why.

 

I am writing this blog not only for myself, but for others. I want it to be known that these thoughts of fear, embarrassment and personal body shaming, are truly in one's own head. When I stated earlier that I was equally out of control as I was in control, I meant that even though I may not be able to control those thoughts entering my mind, I do have control in releasing them.

 

Yes, I stopped working out a few months ago, but my body has changed minutely. I just FEEL fatter, but I'm not. Because I am not able to throw around weights and do extreme circuit workouts, I FEEL lazy and slightly worthless, but I'm not. I'm not any of those things because I choose not be and believe it or not, I do have a choice.

 

I'm not writing this to teach anyone a specific lesson or offer any advice... I just wanted to share my experience and vulnerability with others that know me. Because if you knew me, especially on a personal level, you would call me crazy for feeling insecure. Or you wouldn't believe that sometimes I feel worthless despite my masquerade of confidence, but I am only human. I can look in the mirror and see the ugliest parts of myself just like everybody else. Sometimes I let them resonate and ruin my day... Just like everybody else... And sometimes I don't. It's my choice ultimately and that's ALWAYS my lesson in life. Everything is my choice. Someone can call me fat or ugly or stupid, but it's MY CHOICE to believe them. Some days I do, and some days I don't. Today, my lesson is choosing to believe that my body is beautiful, despite the fact that it looks different from others. To choose if I want to feel pretty in a picture... Or to choose if I want to feel balanced and whole.

 

Life is a choice...MY choice.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Mara Shultz is a young entrepreneur that prides herself on being a Jack Of All Trades. She is an award winning songwriter and a founder and partner of Market Share Consultants and The Online Kitchen Designer. She leads Ring The World Together as a RE:definer, supporting and building a community for victims of sexual abuse/assault, molestation and rape. With over 5 years of sales and marketing experience in the home improvement industry she has learned  training techniques and hopes to create thousands of successful advertising and marketing campaigns.

 

 Mara has a love for writing blogs, mostly in a sarcastic tone. She is known for witty, off of the wall posts, professionally, and writes raw and vulnerable personal blogs. You can follow her on www.ringtheworldtogether.com/impacts or her LinkedIn page www.linkedin.com/in/marashultz

Published by Mara Shultz