Have you ever made a mistake?

You haven’t? You must be an alien or a robot then.

Of course you have made mistakes. Everyone has. Some are minor, like forgetting your sunglasses at home on a sunny day. Others are so big as to change your life, like not wearing a helmet while riding your bike.

Teal Swan, a spiritual teacher, explains that mistakes are never deliberate. Nobody wants to make a mistake. Instead, we make the best decisions we know at the time. And when we look back at it, we recognize that it wasn’t the best choice. But because we didn’t realize that at the time, and we honestly did what we thought was best, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up.

Now, we all make poor choices sometimes. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of beating yourself up over them. But sitting there criticizing yourself all day for what amounts to a simple poor decision isn’t going to help you. Instead, it will just suck you into a negative spiral where this one simple error in judgment ends up reinforcing other negative beliefs you have about yourself.

“I can’t believe I forgot my sunglasses again,” you might think. “This is just like that time I forgot to bring the salad at last week’s dinner party, and like that time I forgot to signal while turning left and got into a car crash. I can’t remember anything, I’m so useless.”

It’s a slippery slope to go down, and all it does is hurt you.

Look, just accept the fact that you’re going to make mistakes. It’s not what happens that decides how good your life will be – it’s how you respond to what happens.

 

How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

As children, our caregivers will criticize us for making mistakes. As a result, we internalize this criticism and come to the conclusion that we are bad. This stays with us well into adulthood.

As a result, we look at our mistakes as a reflection of our self worth. We make a mistake and blame ourselves.

But this doesn’t go both ways – we don’t praise ourselves for making the right decision. We just beat ourselves up for making the wrong decision.

It’s worth mentioning that you wouldn’t accept this type of treatment from anyone else. If someone talked to you the way you talk to you, you’d cut them out of your life.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are four ways to help you change the way you look at yourself.

1. Recognize What Really Matters

We all face hardship in life. Sometimes you have difficult circumstances that go against you. It’s hard to deal with this after all the hard work you put into building something only to see it fail because of something outside your control.

You might not have people pay you in business, lose some key clients, have a failed relationship, or so many other problems. And if you’re not careful you could fall into the victim mentality. You’ll start talking about how unfair the world is, and how there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll just give up and allow the world to swallow you up.

This is toxic.

If you have a stronger character, you’ll be upset by these events, but only for a while. Eventually you’ll realize that you create your own life, and it’s not about what happens to you. It’s about how you react to what happens.

 

2. Stop Playing The Blame Game

We love pointing blame at everything we can when things don’t turn out the way we were hoping.

“It wasn’t my fault!” you may think. “It was a bad economy! The weather was bad! Traffic was crazy! I’m too busy! I just forgot!”

You can make an excuse for anything. But when we blame other things for problems we also take away our responsibility for solving it.

Instead of passing the blame off to someone else, take responsibility. Recognize that even if there was nothing you could have done differently, you’re still better off being part of the solution.

The world needs solutions more than it needs blame to be placed.

It doesn’t matter who created the problem. You can be the one who solves it.

 

3. Analyze Your Mistakes

Is it a bad thing to make a mistake?

Sure, making a mistake may not lead to you getting the outcome you were hoping. And in that light it might be a disappointment.

But the next time you face a similar situation you’ll think about the mistake you made last time. You’ll remember what happened last time and you’ll decide to make a different decision.

And in that moment you’ll be glad you made that mistake last time because it helped you make a better decision.

Your mistakes aren’t mistakes. They’re learning experiences. They help you to make better decisions in the future, so they’re actually good things.

 

4. Stay Positive!

As much as you’ve heard it before, it really is true. Believe in yourself and in your ideas and others will follow.

When you lack confidence in yourself, you end up falling to all sorts of negative attitudes. And that will hold you back.

Instead, recognize that you are capable and can accomplish what you set your mind to.

 

Take Responsibility For Your Life

Everyone faces adversity.

Everyone.

Yes, even that person who you think lives a perfect life.

It’s not how much struggle we face that determines your quality of life. It’s how you respond to struggle.

Will you let hardship stop you? Will you give up when things become challenging?

Or will you take responsibility for your life and persevere?

The Choice is yours.

 

About the author

I'm Fabrizio Fusco, Personal Health & Life Coach. Do you feel unfulfilled or stuck with your life? It's time to change. Start living like a winner. Get healthy, feel great and begin loving life again. I can show you how.

Published by Fabrizio Fusco