For the majority of my life I’ve spent so much wasted time being afraid of doing stuff that interested me. Simply because I thought I wasn’t good enough or because I was afraid of what others may think of the choices I made.

I realized that boosting my self-confidence was something that I needed to focus on and strengthen. I always knew that it was never in my life plans to have a 9-5 sitting behind a desk answering calls and filing papers. I was always supposed to be creative and work on my own time. However, I feared that doing that verses a stable 9-5 wasn’t good enough to my family and friends.

 

This not only limited my potential in life but also minimized my ability to make a positive impact on others. I struggled hard with having confidence and realized thatI had to remove myself from people that I felt like were putting limits on and undermining my abilities. I also stopped looking for satisfaction from others and began looking for satisfaction within.

 

I was inspired to write this because of Ipsy stylist Cydnee Black on YouTube. She recently posted a video on how to gain confidence. The video resonated with because I had struggled hard with trying to gain confidence and taking risk. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would own a blog and be pursing a career as a makeup artist. But with my new found confidence it’s only right that I share what I learned. I wouldn’t be doing my duty as a makeup artist if I didn’t share tips on how to be confidence. I guess you’re wondering, “Well how do I overcome this?” By working on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Being Glam isn’t just about having confidence on the outside when you’re wearing a face full of makeup but also letting yourour self-confidence glow even without makeup.

 

Take control of your self-confidence. If you can’t take control over your own self-confidence then who will? Having high self esteem and self confidence is a mindset that takes effort to retain for when shit hits the fan. Learn it, practice it, and master it like any other skill. Once you master this there would be no reason to rely on others for satisfaction or the feeling of not being good enough. Here’s 8 beneficial ways to help you gain self esteem and confidence.

 

Dress up

 

When I put on a new out fit do my hair and makeup I feel like Beyoncé. Can’t tell me anything. Treat yourself to a spa day. Get a wax and your nails done. When you look good, you feel even better. Look the part. Don’t be afraid to be bold. Do whatever you do to make yourself beautiful. Do as you please. There’s always going to someone unhappy with what you do.

Thinking Positively

 

It’s so easy to get caught up in negative thinking. It’s easier said than done trying to block out the thoughts, and think positively. By focusing on the positives, you can withstand the things that life can throw at you. For example, surround yourself with positive people. Have friends and family you can call on to vent and give loving feedback. Be around people that can talk you out of your negative spiral. Allow positive people to put things into perspective and don’t feed into your negative thinking. With positive thinking comes positive outcomes. Always have the can do attitude. With this mindset, I was able to accomplish and try new things. I recently had a job interview. I went in there with the mindset that if I did get the job great. If I didn’t get the job then it wasn’t meant for me and something better will come along. I ended up not getting the job but two days later I was contacted for 2 more interviews and ended up getting the job for the one of them in an even better location and better opportunities. Also, I plan on keeping a journal and while it might feel elementary to do this but it’ll help me keep track of all the moments and accomplishments thought my day and refer back to it when I need a reminder on being positive.

Kill negative thinking

 

 

When a negative thought comes to mind, kill it right then and there. Learn to identify what a negative thought is: anything that makes you worried and puts a damper on you mood needs to go! Your thoughts can be a real force and have a huge impact on your future. These thoughts are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy sobe aware when you self-talk and be mindful of the way you think of yourself. It really shows on the outside. Think about it. When you’re exercising and it gets to hard and those thought creep into your head, what do you do? You quit at the exact moment and then you grab a donut and go watch TV. Recognize the negative thoughts and replace it with something positive. “You’re almost there 10 seconds left.” You have control over everything that enters your mind. If you don’t want to have a bad day or feel bad about yourself start thinking positive thoughts. While this is definitely something that is easier said than done but with practice you can over come this.

 

Act Positive

 

Now once you get rid of the negative thought and start thinking more positively, it’s time to put those thoughts into action. You change when you act on the positive - you are what you do. Take action instead of telling yourself what you can’t do, tell yourself about all the things you can do and act on it. Sometimes you’ll even have to fake it till you make it but what you might not be able to do it now,you’ll eventually be able to. Put your positive energy into actions and you’ll notice a difference. Once your mindset changes, it’s time to act the part and even if you don’t feel 100% confident, act like you are! Stand tall, come dressed in your very best, and speak up! Don’t be scared. Make eye contact. Copy people that you feel are confident. How do they act? Do they walk with their head hung down, quiet, hiding in the background? Or are they the center of attention, standing straight with their head held high like they run the place. Observe their body language, their actions, and their behaviors.. Emulate teachers, family, friends, and celebrity and other positive role models.. Once you have an understanding of how they positively and confidently portray themselves, absorb those characteristics that still allow you to be true to who you are. Personally, I love to imitate Rihanna - the most attractive thing about her is her confidence and I admire her for that.

 

  1. Be kind: Being a bitch won’t get you anywhere. To improve your self-image, know that being kind and generous to yourself and others is very important. Plus being nice makes you feel good inside. Try this experiment for a week and see how good you feel after. Smile to everyone you pass by. Smile and be warm and welcoming.. Confident people don’t walk with a frown stuck on their face.

 

  1. Set up a small goal: I love setting weekly goals for myself. Set a goal that you know is possible to achieve. Many people set goals that are impossible at the moment and then get discouraged. Completing the goal will add happiness to yourself and your esteem. You can also treat yourself after completing each goal. The more goals you achiev,e the better you’ll feel about yourself. Soon, you’ll be setting bigger goals to achieve. Make sure you are setting SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals. Having a goal you can accomplish gives you something you can plan and work for. A written goal is a continuous reminder of what you need to accomplish. Having goals that you can focus on and visualize helps you to connect with yourself and your desires. It gives you motivational energy to work through periods. During your journey, you’ll find lots of interesting things that you never would have thought of doing before.

 

  1. Affirmations: Knowingly or unknowingly we all use affirmations. You don’t even know that the small things you repeat over and over again to yourself to be affirmations. Be mindful of this. Pick out some inspiring positive quotes to repeat to yourself when you’re stressed, sad, or confused. Use them to strengthen your beliefs about yourself. Repeat them as much as you need to. Here’s a few that I like to use:
  • Know your self, know your worth. –Drake
  • Let go of the thoughts that don’t make you strong.
  • I am worthy
  • The best is yet to come!
  • I am beautiful.
  • Positive thoughts create positive results.
  • I am enough!
  • I’m working on myself for myself.
  • Wake up, pray, slay

 

Affirmations are not only for manifesting a specific goal but they’re also meant to encourage a life full of positivity, gratitude, and help to achieve certain goals. You become more aware of your own thoughts and what you’re telling yourself. Most important, you become more aware of anything and everything that you believe about yourself. You’re the author of your life,you’re your boyfriend, parent, sibling, or friend but YOU are. Pay attention to how you’re starting out your sentences.

I can’t –I can

I wish – I can

I want – I can

One Day – Right Now

I’m trying to – I am

Talking like this will never make you feel good about yourself. Get a move on and change your outlook on life. Instead of saying I can’t say that I can. Daily affirmations not only help keep you surrounded by the things you want in life but they help bring about more blessings and gifts. Daily practice helps keeps small things in perspective, optimistic people have healthier hearts, and affirmations help you to stay positive. Continue to practice and begin to help those around you become more positive as well. Gratitude helps you stay positive and should be practiced daily. Use affirmations to help focus on the positive aspects and give more power to the other set of affirmations you practice. An affirmation can work as it has the ability to program your mind into believing the stated concept. There are both positive and negative affirmations. Growing up and hearing how you’ll never be good enough or you don’t have the ability to do something, you’re fat and clumsy etc. can stay with you forever.. Understand that having confidence won’t happen overnight. It takes a lot of practice and patience. So practice, practice, practice! If you take nothing else from this post remember that YOU ARE WORTHY and capable to do ANYTHING you put your mind to, work hard and never give up. Believing is the key to living it and living is the key to reaching your full potential.