Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you do not want to be? Have you ever felt that you need to do more effort to change your current state? Do you feel that urge to change? How do you know if you are making any kind of progress?

Sometimes we are trapped in situations or states where we do not want to be. It might be a wrong group of friends, or a boring job. It might even be a wrong relationship, or a habit which you want to ditch or even a new habit you wish to acquire. It might be a new sport you want to learn, or a behavior you dream to stop. It could be anything that you want to change. The magical key word for any change is: Measure.

We usually make lots of efforts without knowing if we are making any tangible progress to reach what we want to reach. It might end up (unexpectedly) with total failure, or (surprisingly) with ultimate success. In both cases, we would not be surprised with the results only if we measured and tracked our progress properly. It is an indication that either the exerted effort is in the right direction, or an indication to stop before it becomes too late. This brings up the question: How should I set measurements?

I was used to always set measurements and indicators for failure because I could hardly accept losses. For example, in sports, I counted the number of times I could not finish the training instead of counting the times I successfully finished it. This is an indicator to measure the failures: the number of times of uncompleted workouts. Another example in relationships, the number of times I slept angry of my husband, or the number of differences I have compared to my best friend. In exams, it would be the number of mistakes or failures in exams. Even with habits, to teach myself to read more, the indicator was how many books I failed to finish! These made me take counter actions to prevent losses or predict them to avoid them. However, it never managed to motivate me, nor see real progress towards success.

I decided to stop being negative, and act more positively. I started to set measures for SUCCESS. I wanted to move forward and be strong instead of hunting flaws. I deployed this new way of thinking in many things and the results were brilliant: I could actually see the progress! I could see the impact of the small changes on the indicators of success; it either raises them too high, or high, or keeps them stable. I could link success with every single slight change, which motivated me enough to keep going forward. For example the success indicator I replaced:

  • In sports, how many times I finished my workout? How many times I broke my personal record?
  • In relationship, how many times I enjoyed a good meal or a good constructive chat with my friend/partner?
  • In exams, how many questions I could get right?
  • In habits, how many books I succeeded to finish?

The success indicators are applicable on every single aspect of life which you try to change. Being positive when I set my measurements, guided me to be more persistent to succeed. I insisted to change. Gladly, my positive indicators and measurements guided me to achieve my goals.

Published by Abeer Ghander