How to Teach yourself with Positivism from break ups

Learning new ways of Coping from a lost Relationship


Every relationship is a risk, it is from a point where you have given a part of your life to certain person and try to exchange the things you have in common or not. Being in a relationship makes you feel energized and motivated throughout the day or make you on the track of pursuing the goal you want to achieve in life or being in a relationship provides you meaning on going on through life.

Yes, it gives you hope to carry on when everything turns down and this special someone lifts you up and encourages you to keep going, however not all things turn to work out when one of you or both of you doesn't want to pursue the relationship anymore. There might factors that affect the relationship such as unmet expectations, pressures to both parties or unmet needs deprived from each partner. 

Being in a relationship provides a vital role in every person's life making each feel that everyone deserves to be happy but not everything turns out to an everlasting happiness. It's sad but reality strikes when it happens to people who have been through this situation. Break-ups are really hard when you know that you have given the best you have and you have sacrificed everything for the happiness of your lost relationship. When you try to fix the brokenness in side you or misunderstandings, you still feel you want to carry on and find solution to the problem. But what happens when everything falls down and none or both of you wants to give it up and take a new relationship role?  Starting all over again and being free from the past is the hardest part of moving on.

Moving on is a process, it is like grieving from a lost loved one and being proactive about the loss and try to move on is the key on getting over of so-called deceased love affair. There are ways to move on with the loss of the relationship and it really takes a lot of motivation to get you go through it. The process of moving on is hard when you had a real and true memories shared especially one has left you for someone else better. It is a process of grieving;

  1. Denial- when you felt that everything will turns out to be well and you still want to save the relationship when the fact gives you its over
  2. Anger- the airing of hatred of a lost relationship
  3. Bargaining- it is something that you wish you could do to change the situation back the way it is before
  4. Depression- it is the loss of the relationship where the person grieve. It may take a lot of time to go through this stage because it is a part of internalizing everything that has been lost. In this stage offering ways to help cope with the person and support is very crucial in the next process called;
  5. Acceptance- This is the full recovery and making into terms that the person has already gone through the grieving process and is able to manage her life to move forward.

Moving  on is crucial and it takes time to be fully recovered from the loss it may take a lot of effort to take time to overcome such feeling and it takes a lot of patience for the family or the person who cares to help the grievance resolve. There are some helpful ways to overcome such loss of a relationship;

  • Make yourself busy- do some house chores, read a book, watch television or movies that interests you. It helps because it will redirect your attention into something a new point of interest and make your mind don't wander off from the lost relationship.
  • Socialize- meet new people and try to open a new horizon of a friendly healthy relationship. Meeting new people will give a new area of interest as you get to know another type of personality and it will give a  new opportunity to get to know other people well.
  • Exercise- exercising boosts your self esteem and keeps your system and brain get a fresh start everyday. Exercise gives you mentally healthy as it provides your brain to be active all throughout the day as it gives you ideas on how to get going.
  • Educate yourself- try to involve yourself into a new set of interest such getting another degree or start on being informed like taking a seminar so you get a new chance to acquire knowledge. This might give you a chance to explore more the world and get new new people to come up with.
  • Gather your support groups- it is healthy to vent out the negative feelings you have inside and tell it to the people who can help you overcome the loss of a relationship
  • Have a Spiritual connection with God- from all those things that comes into your mind, always remember that a Prayer is the most positive way and powerful way to overcome grievance. Having a strong Spiritual guidance gives you hope and gives you a new life to carry on throughout the day. 
  • Get going!- always remember that past is past and it shall never be the reason to let it pull you down. Having a lost relationship is hard but it should never be the reason to get back from where it should be. Life is meant to be shared with people who appreciates who you are and accepts the kind of person that you truly are. Nobody is born to be right at all times, and people makes mistakes, however give it a chance to make it as a lesson to grow and strengthen the weaknesses you have.
  • Have it as a lesson to grow- every relationship is another way of knowing yourself and trying to fix problems with two people however, from a break-up it is a lesson that gives you another opportunity to get to know how well you can handle yourself without him or her. It is a way improving yourself and giving out the best that you can and be independent on your own decisions in life and aspects that you want to pursue.

Moving on can be achieved in a positive way as long as there are people who can help you get through with it. People that comes in to your life are like strangers that gives you a lesson,inspiration or a form of giving you a hint what lies a head of you. No matter what kind of relationship you had from the past, it is important that one must get through it, just move forward. No one gets back from the loss but take it as a chance to pick those broken pieces again. Yes, it takes time, but remember that you have to get back on track on what life is ahead of you. Be positive! and Life is meant to be shared not a room to seclude yourself from the society. Take charge of your goals and Aim for it!

Published by Jessel Paez