How to Transfer Your Happiness to Others (and Intensify Your Own) Like 1 Twitter Mary Namestnik Follow Sept. 8, 2016, 4 p.m. in Life and Styles Views: 1285 Like us on facebook If there’s one thing working in customer service for four years taught me, it’s that happiness is a gift that can be given to anybody, as long as others are receptive to it. Even the grumpiest person you’ve ever seen may be able to accept the gift of happiness from someone, and hopefully, that someone will be you. My first customer service position was at a deli, and for the first few months of my being there, I saw my job as simply preparing food, nothing more. I didn’t want to waste my time graveling to make customers happy while I was constantly being struck down by them. If they didn’t respect me, I simply wouldn’t respect them back. Here’s your sandwich, bye. Eventually, I began to see the value in brightening a customer’s day. Not only did it improve the way they were feeling, but it amplified my happiness as I conversed with one person after another. Once I was finished brightening one person’s day, I was beaming, and able to do the same for the next person, and the person after that. Outside the realm of customer service, we should work towards treating people with the same amount of kindness we aim for when we serve them. As humans, we are serving our other human brothers and sisters in everything we do. A happier world, in these days, is necessary for our survival. There are three steps in the transfer of happiness that you must make yourself think deeply about each time you wish to do this (which, hopefully, is every time you meet somebody in need of a smile): 1. You have to realize the worth of the person in front of you. I’m not talking about the type of car they drive or the type of bag their carrying. Those things don’t matter. What matters is that this is somebody’s son or daughter. This may be a husband, a wife, a mother, or a father. Somebody, somewhere truly cherishes the person in front of you and wants nothing but the best for them. Knowing how you feel about your mother or father, husband or wife, sister or brother, the list goes on…how would you like them to be treated? If they are having an awful day and can’t control their choppy tone while they’re speaking to another person, would you hope that person understands that there’s a deeper issue than what the eye sees? Chances are, yes. Understanding and compassion for other people are never negative traits, and they can never do harm to another person. Once you display understanding and recognize that you’re dealing with somebody’s loved one, it’s time to move on to the next step. 2. You must dig within yourself to overcome their negativity. It’s never fun when somebody treats you poorly, and our natural reaction to such encounters is to defend ourselves, snap back at them, and come out on top. This results in sadness or frustration on both parts of the exchange. After snapping back at somebody, chances are you either don’t feel better, or you feel better because you are running on a negative emotion, which, let’s face it, is not much of an improvement. You still harbor some resentment and anger at the person who gave you a portion of their negativity. When somebody isn’t kind to you, before you react, and after you have realized the worth of the person you are with, you have to take a minute to breathe and suppress the remainder of the negative energy that had been dumped on you. To do this, you have to reach into your heart and pull out some gold. It doesn’t matter where this comes from. It can be remembering a hilarious meme your friend posted on facebook, or thinking about how much you love your significant other. Examples of how ridiculous this golden nugget of happiness and positivity within yourself can be, and still make for a successful transfer: Think about how much you love macaroni and cheese. Think about the gooey, golden cheese covered noodles. Think about how smooth and silky they look when they are stirred in a pot as they cook to perfection. It really does work. I’ve found gold that resulted in a successful transfer by thinking jalapeno poppers before and I rarely even eat those. 3. When you’ve done those two things, you must wholly give yourself to that person. Now that you’ve stifled the rest of your negative energy (whether you did that by thinking of noodles, or not), it’s time to make the transfer. This is done by metaphorically “gifting” your happiness to the person who has none. Smile as big as you can, for them. Talk to them as politely as you can, for them. If you had a task that you were supposed to do for them, make sure you complete it to the best of your ability, for them. Talk about them, how they feel, and whether or not they’ve had a good day. Give them a compliment. For this transfer to be successful, you really have to emphasize your willingness to do all of these things for them. Don’t think about how hard you’re trying. Don’t think about how difficult of a task it is for you. For a successful transfer of happiness, you have to focus all of your attention on them, and leave yourself out of the picture. Everything you think and do must be for this person, as if your entire being is a giant hand, holding out the present of happiness that you wish to give. When you give somebody a gift, you don’t hold out your hand, minus one finger, because that’s your finger and you’re working really hard to give them this gift already with the four fingers that you’re giving it to them with. You hold out your entire hand, with the present neatly wrapped on top. So give this person the gift of happiness, and forget yourself in the process. If you can do all these things, your reward will be a major accomplishment: helping somebody smile when they have an ailment that you may know nothing about. You will come away from the experience beaming with joy. Once you transfer your happiness over, your mind has a lot of room to fill, and it fills this space with happiness at seeing the other person’s smile. When you forget yourself in the process of making somebody else happy, you come back feeling more joyful than before, and wanting to make the transfer again and again. Transfer of happiness isn’t always easy, but practice makes it better each time, and the rewards get greater and greater. Smiles are contagious, and so is happiness. If you gift yours, I promise you will experience immense joy in return for your selfless actions. 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