I cannot trust humanity.

I try and I try

…but I just cannot

Friends,

they are only a ‘friend’ due to the fact being that they want something out of you

I don’t believe I have ever received the special gift of a friendship

I am the only one who must be flexible in the relationship

I am the one who must run the mile while the other person won’t move a finger

Isn’t friendship all about meeting half-way?

As you can imagine, I have grown tired from running.

There was a moment in the middle of my sprint when I pondered this reality…

I saw I wasn’t loving myself, rather putting those ‘friends’ needs before my own; while in the end they never cared about one hair on my head.

I deserved better… I deserve better.

The few companions I thought were true to me; were not…are not.

I am angry, melancholy but also numb

I have been pushed around by others

used and abused for their own pleasures…

My blood used to boil and my brain would sit and listen to the riots of words occurring by the hour…

I no longer heed attention on this matter

I am officially done

Yet,

I still dream of true, caring people

Perhaps this is a time of loneliness and reflecting…

Humanity…

Oh, humanity please shine light

there is just too much darkness

too much gloom in this world

Redeem yourself, please.