I remember growing up in a really nice spot of Southern California in a very large family of 10 children and thinking that life would look something like this: I would meet my husband, get married, have and raise a family and watch them do the same until I grew old and happy and passed on. Somewhere in there I'd face life's challenges, work, get my education and so forth. I had no allusions to the difficulties of life but I had no real concept of how adulting would feel. 

I did go to college, meet my husband to be at work, get married, work, have children, work, raise children and so on. What I didn't plan on was our very athletic, smart, fun son getting hit with really challenging, multi-faceted mental illness during his freshman year in college. I didn't plan on that battle that we fought with him on a daily basis and him losing his battle with mental illness last December. 

Even while healing and processing so many emotions from his challenges and death, I wasn't planning 5 months later on our sweet, kind, easy-to-raise 9 year old daughter passing away after a severe asthma attack and aspiration. I certainly had no concept of losing my children. As far as I was concerned, those things, sadly, happened to others. 

So here I sit. I am stunned. I am in deep pain. I miss our children daily. I am working daily to be healthy emotionally and I'm going to find a way within me to share this journey with you. Here is my heart. 

Published by Sherrill Moody