Don't get me wrong, summer is a beautiful season as it brings positive vibes, boosts serotonin, people are outside playing and getting together. It comes with a lot of positives for a lot of people. For me though, summer is not the greatest season, not for the common reasons of it being too hot or the fact that wasps are everywhere no. Some others may agree with me that when you have low self-esteem summer sucks. I mean having low self-esteem sucks in general on a day-to-day basis but it is so much worse during the summer. With temperatures rising I can no longer wear jeans or jumpers or baggy hoodies nope, I have to wear shorts or skirts and tiny clothing. This is not my forte.

I wouldn't call myself a tomboy but I am not extremely feminine thus I do not feel comfortable in skirts, dresses or even shorts. I dislike the fact I have to reveal my body in the summer, my pale skin on show, my flab hanging out of everywhere, I don't feel comfortable sitting down as it makes my thighs look huge. Urgh why does it have to be so hot that I can't just hide under layer up layer of comforting clothing. Why is it that when summer hits the clothes get shorter and tighter? Why tighter? It is hot enough without having dresses and tops sticking to your back and stomach, no thank you.

It is difficult for me to find something to wear in hot weather. I put the clothes on, then take them off, change, take that off. I look fat, hideous. My stress levels are off the charts, I literally feel distressed like I'm about to pull all my hair and stay indoors forever and cry. It probably doesn't help that most of my summer clothes are from when I was 15 but I dislike summer that much that I don't want to buy new clothing. Some people may argue and say 'well there's your problem!'. I think it may just be a little more deeply rooted than that my friend. I have bought new summer clothes but when it actually comes to summer I don't want to wear them. I really really dislike showing my body, it makes me squirm, I can feel people looking at me, thinking 'why is she wearing that' 'look how pale she is' 'those shorts aren't doing anything for her'.

I do overthink and my mind runs wild with negative thoughts and it is like climbing up a vertical mountain to crawl back to reality and stop bringing myself down. Once your on the train of negativity it doesn't stop for ages, so you are better off buckling down and dealing with it because your in for one hell of a ride. I like to think that after a while I can battle these thoughts and get them under sort of control, rather than this negative voice shouting its just a small niggle, sometimes I do wonder if I will ever be able to get rid of it. I guess only time will tell.

​That is why I think there should be more support systems in place to help girls with low self esteem, in schools we get a little bit of education in year 7 about being more self aware but that stuff doesn't really stick with you. Hopefully my new support group for young girls will help those struggling and benefit them. Wish me luck.

Published by Katy-Jane Pitt