I hate to tell someone something sad and they just say sorry. I hate to be brave enough to share my lows with someone and they do not react in a way I have anticipated. I hate when people do not follow the scripts of my life. I hate when I share my dreams and anyone says they are too big and unachievable.

 

I hate when I am brought down deliberately. I hate when I spread the parachute of my life to take a leap of faith and it does not open. I hate when I crash without a lifeline. I hate to crash at all. I hate long death stares that accompany failure. I hate to fail when success is a parallel route. I hate to take the wrong road of despair and sad sounds. I hate missing my way. I hate when my compass stops working midway into the sea. I hate when things stop to work abruptly.

I hate to waste my time. I hate people who do not respect me enough to know time means more than just successive ticking of the clock. I hate to sit and watch life pass by. I hate loud noises and crowded buildings. I hate to see everyone I love all at once. I hate when things creep into my solitude. I hate to walk at a slow pace. I hate to be caught in the rain unprepared. I hate to not be ready.

 

I hate to miss the race. I hate to not make it to the finish line. I hate to begin reading books and not finish them. I hate when my ink runs dry midway through my sentence. I hate music without meaning. I hate to not understand my purpose. I hate to not have a role. I hate to wing things. I hate to not be in control of my destiny. I hate when the steering wheel is beyond reach.

 

I hate cold food. I hate to spend money on food and have regrets. I hate to have regrets at all. I hate to succumb to my fears. I hate to let my fears beat me into anxiety. I hate to seem desperate. I hate retrospective actions. I hate to appear weak. I hate the constant battles between my weakness and strengths. I hate when my strengths are not resilient enough. I hate to look into the mirror and know this is not who I am and be unable to do anything about it. I hate finality. 

Published by Etenwa Manuel