I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME

 Chapter Four DEATH

Part Five

 THE HARROWING EXPERIENCE

 

As God continues to grow and prepare me, He often takes me through new and unexpected experiences. One that I shall never forget, left me understanding what it meant when Paul told Timothy that Hymenaeus and Alexander had been "delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme."

 

I was new to a church and an older woman had taken me under her wing. Each Sunday, I had sat next to the woman and the Spirit inside of me had grieved, causing me to weep profusely, unable to stop the tears. Then, things began to change for the worse and she turned on me when I corrected something she was teaching in her class. She was very arrogant and insensitive in her teaching, often making fun of and offending other women concerning very serious matters. She had become a Christian, later in her adult life and had not led a godly life before then, however, she seemed to have amnesia of those days when it came to judging others. She boasted of her position within the church and within the church conference. She made light of people in the conference not liking her, but she didn't care and it didn't matter because, our pastor, who was prominent throughout the conference district, always had her back, because as a good church member, he knew he could always depend upon her. Unlike, some other people, she said, she had nothing to worry about.

 

The Holy Spirit led me on several occasions to speak up and clarify or correct something that was being incorrectly taught to the people, when the floor was open for comments. I had verbally told this woman about my church history, my education and biblical teachings throughout my life, but, because I was younger and clearly still an outsider, they questioned my knowledge of God's Word and if I was a godly woman. She and her friends began to attack me through snide remarks and innuendos, accusing and condemning younger, single women who come to church as coming to steal their husbands. I was scrutinized for what I was wearing and made to feel extremely uncomfortable within the group.

 

I continued to go because God had led me there and as a prophet I was learning to be obedient to His Will. One morning, His Holy Spirit told me it was time to confront her about the change in her behavior towards me. I was nervous and didn't quite know how to go about it, but God told me not to worry, He would be with me and give me the words to say. I stayed after class and asked to meet with her. Calmly, I brought to her attention incidents and attitude changes I had noticed since I began participating in her class. She began to vehemently deny everything, even what she had taught in class. I was clearly saying things that made her very uncomfortable and as she became more and more uncomfortable, I began to speak truth into her life which frightened her. It was when I mentioned her attitude toward rape victims, that she jumped up out of her chair and looked at me oddly, shocked, frightened and ready to run and escape.I had been speaking of things that touched her life directly and she exclaimed that she was a rape victim. She continued to deny everything and said that she would hear no more and had to go.

 

I knew that she would go directly to the pastor, who himself had a changed attitude towards me and barely said anything besides, hello. He had a very low opinion of women and did not believe in women as preachers within the church. But, God spoke to Him and revealed who and what I was to her. Well, from then on, I had the plague and she had told everyone else, what I had been trying to get her to see from the beginning, I had a calling and an anointing as all Believers do, but, I had no desire to announce it,  flaunt it or think myself special. I was just another servant of God. However, as Believers, we all should have respect and love for the God that dwells in each other, without passing judgement upon one another.

 

Well, if I thought things were bad before, than it was good that I couldn't see the future. It seems that I became the focus of her scorn and the object of her lessons. She would glance at me, but couldn't look me in the eyes. She began to teach about the Five Fold Ministry the very next Sunday and when she came to the word prophet, she glanced at me and for seconds, could not say the word. She finally stuttered and got the word out of her mouth, saying "prophet."

 

God had told me that when it was time for me to leave, I would not leave alone. Very soon, I was not called to go back for a while. When, I came back, I found someone else teaching the class. I found out what happened during prayer requests. Our teacher had cancer of the mouth. Unexpected and unexplained, cancer of the mouth. Her good friend who spoke out against me had gone blind in one eye. Coincidence? I've learned not to believe in coincidence just as there is no such thing as luck! I was shocked! Although, she had repeatedly lied to me and they had told lies on me and mistreated me, I would never want anything bad to come to anyone! Was I the cause of this? I couldn't accept that. I was distraught and dismayed. What had I done?

 

That Monday, not knowing what to do, I had to call my mentor, to tell him what happened and hope that he could calm me down and straighten me out. One of the first things I said is that, I didn't sign on for this! I can't be responsible for anybody being harmed or dying! When I think about it, it was quite a dumb thing to say, but, that was then. I know that I didn't sign on for anything, God chose me. I understand the attitude of liars, the discernment of God's Holy Spirit and the punishment for blasphemy against God's Holy Spirit. I understand that if God removes His hand of mercy from us, the enemy and death can have their way. Me and I had nothing to do with the disease that fell upon my Sisters. I am a vessel. However, during my time of distress, I just wanted to be disconnected from what had happened.

 

I did not return to the church for a while and when I finally returned, our teacher was back, but not in teaching capacity. I saw her sitting across the aisle in her regular seat. She glanced at me briefly. One of her friends was busy, scudding and scurrying about, making my presence known to others. I could see her nodding towards my seat, looking at me, as if identifying me from a police line-up, blaming me and warning others. No one dared sit close to me, I had the pew conspicuously, all to myself.

 

After many months, I returned knowing it was the final time and I would be saying goodbye to this experience. I remember it was in October and I just needed a light sweater for the mild weather. I took the bus and walked to the beautiful church building, one last time. I was late and the church was pretty packed by then. I sat in the back, but, the pastor, who was speaking saw me come in and take a seat. He looked at me remorsefully and in a sad and very apologetic voice he told the congregation that he was so very glad to see me again. He said that he had missed me and had so hoped that I would return. At that moment I knew that God had used me to soften and humble the heart of this very proud and hardened man. I'm sure that many other changes took place also and I had grown in the process, leaving behind, but never forgetting this harrowing and humbling experience.

 

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If I am to be WORTHY to walk the straight and narrow path, I must KEEP MY EYES ON JESUS! Under the Mind of Christ, I have no desire to diminish, demean, judge or bring harm to any member or the rest of the Body of Christ. Therefore, I must try to be healthy in mind, body and spirit, keeping the faith, in order to be a fruitful member. Under the Mind of Christ, I must remember Christ's commandment to love the rest of the Body as He has loved me and as I love myself. Therefore, I respect He who dwells within OTHERS, refraining from blasphemy against God's Holy Ghost.

 

Do I love the Word of God? Do I hunger for holiness and righteousness? Then, I should understand that words and actions against the Divine Word of God is BLASPHEMY! I should not condone, support or vote on anything or anyone who goes against the Word of God!

 

How greatly do I ERR, when I believe I can judge another Believer or others, thinking that I am greater or smarter than they are. Have I forgotten He who can dwell within? Do I believe He who dwells within? Do I believe the WORD OF GOD?! The Word of God says that with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE; with God, MAN can do ANYTHING! If God be in ME or my BROTHER, how can I question their CAPABILITIES? By doing so, I QUESTION MY GOD, HIS POWER, WORD AND HIS WILL! Perhaps, I deem someone unworthy to possess the Spirit of God and question that God's Holy Spirit dwells within them. Perhaps, I don't possess God's Spirit myself and don't know what it is to do so. It is time to take a reality check. Am I living abundantly destined for eternity? Do I recognize sin and death and can I resist and persist?

God said to esteem others GREATER than yourself. We must keep in mind that God uses whom He pleases. Our HOPE should be that He uses our Brother to do His Will and to exalt and glorify the Kingdom of God! If we have the mind to judge our Brother, then, it is clear that the problem lies within US not following the Mind of Christ! Perhaps, it is time to do a reality check, again. Are we living abundantly and eternally or are we existing in our own reality, as a blasphemer of God's Holy Spirit, by which we are in danger of becoming eternally DEAD?! Do we have the ATTITUDE and spirit of a LIAR or the heart and Mind of Christ which renders to us the fortitude and desire to STAND against darkness and adversity, conquering the world and conquering DEATH!

 

My Brethren, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48 KJV) Let not death win over us, but let us be faithful and steadfast, as we do the Will of God. Father, keep us from the evil one and USE US LORD, IN A MIGHTY WAY!

 

 

Your servant and soldier, united with the One

mishael

 

 

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SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror

Once again, when we look at Jesus' parables, He is challenging us to examine where our heart lies. Closely examining your heart, answer the UNDERLINED questions ABOVE.

DISCUSS your answers with a mature Believer who can guide you in your spiritual relationship with Jesus and our Father, and/or have group discussions to learn from those who have different experiences and perspectives.

QUESTIONS: Write down your questions and discuss them with a mature Believer or submit them to this blog.

 

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REFERENCED SCRIPTURE

Psalm 37 King James Version (KJV)

37 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

 

2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

 

3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

 

4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

 

5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

 

6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

 

7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

 

8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

 

9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

 

10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

 

11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

 

12 The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.

 

13 The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

 

14 The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.

 

15 Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.

 

16 A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.

 

17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous.

 

18 The Lord knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.

 

19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.

 

20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.

 

21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

 

22 For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

 

23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

 

24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

 

25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

 

26 He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.

 

27 Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.

 

28 For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

 

29 The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.

 

30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

 

31 The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

 

32 The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.

 

33 The Lord will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.

 

34 Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.

 

35 I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.

 

36 Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.

 

37 Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.

 

38 But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.

 

39 But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord: he is their strength in the time of trouble.

 

40 And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

 

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Acts 5 King James Version (KJV) 

5 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

 

2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

 

3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

 

4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

 

5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

 

6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

 

7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

 

8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

 

9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

 

10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

 

11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.

 

12 And by the hands of the apostles were many signs and wonders wrought among the people; (and they were all with one accord in Solomon's porch.

 

13 And of the rest durst no man join himself to them: but the people magnified them.

 

14 And believers were the more added to the Lord, multitudes both of men and women.)

 

15 Insomuch that they brought forth the sick into the streets, and laid them on beds and couches, that at the least the shadow of Peter passing by might overshadow some of them.

 

16 There came also a multitude out of the cities round about unto Jerusalem, bringing sick folks, and them which were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed every one.

 

17 Then the high priest rose up, and all they that were with him, (which is the sect of the Sadducees,) and were filled with indignation,

 

18 And laid their hands on the apostles, and put them in the common prison.

 

19 But the angel of the Lord by night opened the prison doors, and brought them forth, and said,

 

20 Go, stand and speak in the temple to the people all the words of this life.

 

21 And when they heard that, they entered into the temple early in the morning, and taught. But the high priest came, and they that were with him, and called the council together, and all the senate of the children of Israel, and sent to the prison to have them brought.

 

22 But when the officers came, and found them not in the prison, they returned and told,

 

23 Saying, The prison truly found we shut with all safety, and the keepers standing without before the doors: but when we had opened, we found no man within.

 

24 Now when the high priest and the captain of the temple and the chief priests heard these things, they doubted of them whereunto this would grow.

 

25 Then came one and told them, saying, Behold, the men whom ye put in prison are standing in the temple, and teaching the people.

 

26 Then went the captain with the officers, and brought them without violence: for they feared the people, lest they should have been stoned.

 

27 And when they had brought them, they set them before the council: and the high priest asked them,

 

28 Saying, Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man's blood upon us.

 

29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

 

30 The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree.

 

31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.

 

32 And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him.

 

33 When they heard that, they were cut to the heart, and took counsel to slay them.

 

34 Then stood there up one in the council, a Pharisee, named Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, had in reputation among all the people, and commanded to put the apostles forth a little space;

 

35 And said unto them, Ye men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what ye intend to do as touching these men.

 

36 For before these days rose up Theudas, boasting himself to be somebody; to whom a number of men, about four hundred, joined themselves: who was slain; and all, as many as obeyed him, were scattered, and brought to nought.

 

37 After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the days of the taxing, and drew away much people after him: he also perished; and all, even as many as obeyed him, were dispersed.

 

38 And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought:

 

39 But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.

 

40 And to him they agreed: and when they had called the apostles, and beaten them, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.

 

41 And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.

 

42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.

Published by Mishael T