So here I am another 3 weeks ("plus") down the line, feeling better than ever, wondering where has the time gone - yet again. Today is the day after my relaxing massage, just a little more than a week before my chakra balancing that will be followed by Theta Healing in another couple of weeks. I now do "lunch time" yoga on top of a (smaller) skyscraper on Fridays, so believe me:  "I'm havin' lots of fun".

I am healing, I feel I am growing and maybe I see things clearer than before - maybe not but that doesn't matter, as I feel better than ever.

Sometimes, I still tend to "beat myself up" for things I shouldn't - like I stopped being a workaholic and my "inner voice" has started calling me lazy... I know I shouldn't listen - or I should just clear this "inner confusion" and build up a healthier thought pattern where it's all OK this way! Also, the "Should've known" feeling strikes in sometimes - that I need to learn to handle, too... And accept that there are some things that you'll only know after learning your lesson - beforehand you couldn't have known! On the other hand, I'm all good...I enjoy dating myself - such as going to the cinema on my own or tripping by myself. 

I am in a working relationship - with myself. I realized that this is the first time in my life I've ever been independent (meaning no other human being depends on me). I've always been hardworking and very well organized - as I needed to be. I believe, this is part of my nature but now I can allow myself to be a lot more spontaneous. Now the plan can be not to have a plan....and this is great! I love the surprises Life (Karma / Universe / God / Creator ... call it whatever you like!) chucks at me to indicate direction. 

I'm so amazed by the things I have gone through, the challenges I have - successfully - come across, the people that I've got in contact with...everything, every little thing in my life!
Whatever you call that "supreme power" it must love me... and I'm grateful for this.

It may take me a long time to get started on blogging, although I do enjoy it - but my excuse is that I have a life to live. I started scribbling down handwritten notes - that I adore doing - in hope that I'll type them up. Strangely, I do feel the urge but then "life happens", so I'd put it off and I'd decide on reading instead because I'm eager to find out what will happen in the next chapter or there's a good film on telly or I'm out by the sea ship or wave spotting...

One early morning - only a few days after my last post - I was feeling very clever about starting on handwritten notes. I was thinking about the "old fashioned" way of writing: you know, pen and paper! No typos, fewer mistakes, more brainwork. I thought to myself there was something sexy about handwriting. It's just so personal. Then I noticed, I got wet - no, not that way ... It was my water bottle leaking in my handbag (leaking?!...pouring!) The lid came off so everything in my bag, including my cute little notebook with my sexy handwritten notes (my sandwich, purse and all the junk I carry) got soaked. That's when I realized how fragile notes are. Not only handwritten ones, though. Just think about all the files you have lost in your life (or is it just me?) 

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that notes are as vulnerable as your thoughts - at the end of the day, they ARE your thoughts. 

Now, in regards my next appearance here, I shall make no promises. It will happen when I'm ready. I'm trying to apply reversed psychology here in hope that I'll trick my mind into wanting to be more productive again - maybe not as much as I used to be but a tad more than I am right now. Maybe it's not even about getting or being organized, maybe it's more to do with finishing my healing process and start "just living" again...who knows... As the cliche says: "Only time will tell"

Published by Kati(e) Mesfy