After a weekend of hanging out with a wonderful bunch of women that I am blessed to have in my life, I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer settle. I have come way too far in my life to settle for a man that's not perfect for me. Wait before you go off on me; I did not say perfect, I said perfect for me. There’s a big difference.

There is no perfect person and I am as far from perfect as they come. Just read my blog! You’ll know that I am not living in la la land.

I am not asking for anything unreasonable like he has to be 6', blond, blue eyes, 200 lbs with muscles, make at least $600,000 a year, drive a 750 BMW and be a Virgo.

Don't laugh! I know some women with this list and they will not budge. (Well, good luck to them!) No. That is unrealistic. However... there are a few things on my list that are non-negotiable.

I will not settle for a man who does not have God first and foremost in his life. My religion has saved my life, literally, and my faith and my church are the biggest part of my life.

It has to be someone who will love my girls like he loves me: who will not try to buy them but actually cares about them.

I will not sell my soul for a man with money and lose myself, I've been there done that for 24 years, never again.

I will no longer settle for broken unreliable men. No, I am not here to fix you; you need to work out your issues before you start a relationship. I took me 2 years to work on mine. I had to own my part in my failed marriage and I figured out what I needed to fix within me. You must take this journey by yourself, don't bring your baggage into the next relationship; same problems, same end result.

I will not be your mother. I've raised two kids and I’m not looking to do that again so be a grown up. I will not settle for a lying, cheating or deceitful man. No, I deserve to have a man love me enough and love all of me just as I will do for him.

I will not settle for a man who will disrespect me. I now know my self-worth.
I am worthy of being treated like the queen I am so just as I would never disrespect you, you will do the same.

I want someone with a kind heart who is compassionate, who is close to his family and who is there for his friends. Someone who knows his finances and who, at 50 years old, is not living paycheck to paycheck. Sorry I did that at 20 and we are not 20 anymore.

Someone who is funny (funny is the new sexy, people!), who can laugh at himself and the world. Someone who has your back and will "let you crash their party" like that Luke Byron song where he sings about how he would drop everything to be with me and that I come second after God to him.

It has to be someone who cares enough about himself to be in shape and who exercises and enjoys the outdoors. Lastly, I want someone who is a blessing to others.

Is this such an unrealistic list I ask you? Isn't this what human beings should be? Not looking to get over or hurt someone else? Am I asking for too much? It doesn't matter because this is my list. You have to make your own.

I refuse to settle because I know what kind of woman I am; I will love you until the end of time, I will be your biggest cheerleader, I will have your back and I will fight the world for your honor. I will be there to help you; I would even carry you if you fell. I will be your partner 100% of the time, I will give it my all, I will care about your feelings and I will always be honest and faithful.

All I ask is the same in return. That's all! If I cannot find someone who is willing to give as much as I am, well then I am just fine being by myself because I refuse to settle.

So I am putting it out there. These are the conditions and the deal breakers, so be it!

So today my friends think long and hard: are you settling because you’re lonely? Because you can't live without someone in your life? So you are settling for half a man or woman. Don't settle, know your worth and take nothing less because you’re worth it!


"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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Published by Francesca Villardi (Treadmill Treats)