Who’s your validator? This is a question I have been relentlessly asking myself over the past week. It’s been brought to my attention by my intuitive healer that I’ve been looking to my hubby for self-validation.  Of course, he’s been doing the same to me which leads to a very dysfunctional marriage. When one of us doesn’t agree with the other we take it as a personal affront and tension ensues.

So, how to break the cycle? The first step is awareness. Great, check. Next? Apparently the next step is wallowing in the fact that once you are aware it’s happening in your marriage, you realize it’s happening everywhere. People aren’t liking my blog as often? I must not be a good writer. My friends aren’t calling me as often? I must have done something wrong. My dog pooped in the house? Maybe I wasn’t cut out for having a pet? (Ok,that last one might be extreme, but you get the idea)

Wonderful. Now that I have fallen down this rabbit hole, how do I get out? Self love. So much easier said than done. It’s a practice just like most worthwhile things in life. It’s looking myself in the mirror every morning and saying “I love you” to me. It’s eating foods that don’t provide me comfort but provide me with health. It’s taking time to walk, meditate or do whatever other activity that brings me joy, peace, and calm. It’s practicing deep breathing when my ego gets hurt and reminding myself that I am still whole and worthy of love just as I am.

So today I ask you. Who is your validator?

Originally posted on www.myyearofhugs.com

Published by Melinda Schmitt