Adunni,

I don’t want to start this letter with the usual features of a conventional letter. This is not your usual memo. This was written with sweat and blood, and punctuated with tears. You must appreciate my being by seeing the effort that has gone into this letter.

I don’t even care that my friends brand me a weakling, I don’t want to be called a superman anymore, it’s gotten me into this mess, it’s time to get out. And getting out, I plan to do by spilling the beans.

Adunni, why do you hate me so much? It irks me the more especially when you profess love towards me secretly and then you go publicly and say brash things about me, you’re being more hypocritical than Nicodemus. This is exactly why we are not together anymore.

I can go on and on in this letter detailing all the wrongs you’ve done to me, but it still wouldn’t change all those nights filled with dreams of you – and me. Why you still feature in my dreams? Why are you the only one I think about? Despite my gallant defense of how I don’t love you anymore.

I guess the old saying is really true, when you love someone, you can’t stop. Love never stops. But I doubt yours was love, because if it were, it shouldn’t have stopped.

Adunni, see how you have ruined me. I can’t even love any other person without being haunted with your ghost. If you say you don’t love me anymore, then why do you haunt me in my dreams? Why can’t you let me be? And it doesn’t even help that we stay in the same city, I see you every day, and my first instinct is to hide, I can’t believe I’m shying away from a mortal

I hate that I love you so much Adunni! I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you and deep down somewhere hate that you still love me. I wish we could just both move on to better things in life, I’d be damned if I don’t open my eyes to the better things of life. I’d be damned if you happened to be my “better”.

I hate that I still contemplate a future with you despite all my mental efforts not to. What do you do when you can’t win a war? Surrender! But with you, surrendering is too much of a defeat. I am the superhuman here, you are the one with the weakness, I’ve got the strengths. I can’t leave myself bare to you by showing you my weakness. You ain’t gon’ be my Delilah. I wish it was just easy to come knock on your door and sobs and say sorry.

While I still contemplate, I hope it never gets too late to say sorry, when I’m done missing everything about you.

 

Adunni, for one last time, let me be, or, don’t ever let me go.

 

Once Yours,

Ifelodun.

Published by Miracle Roch