I was recently asked out on a date and my automatic response was “no.” I had mentioned it to all my friends and sister and they told me to just have fun with it. I don’t get it, for some people dating is fun and exciting. But, for me and for others, it brings anxiety and frustration. I associate dating with negativity, sad to say.

I do agree that dating is fun, with the right person of coarse if you go into it with the right mindset and expecting nothing out of it. I believe the other person should be on the same page as you, or you are going to be left confused and overthinking about it as you lay in bed.

I use to be the stereotypical relationship person and I never understood how people could casually date. Between each of my three relationships, I found myself in the singles pool and enjoying myself. After being in comfortable relationships for so long it takes a good amount of time to move on and get your head on the right path that you do not need anyone. One thing I realized was that I was finding myself doing things differently from what I would normally do aka casual dating.

Like I said, I hate casual dating and I am fed up with it. I can honestly say from December to today (May), I have been on three dates and they have been my choice.  If you can relate then you know when you have reached your limit of going out with people who are not what you want or what you are looking for. I’ve gone out many times with guys thinking they are “the one,” and I always end up finding out they are the wrong ones and I somehow get hurt in the end. I would go along with it and talk to them casually until I realized I was just wasting my time even though I knew they weren’t “the one” from the beginning.

I try to be the person who doesn’t care but in reality I always care at the end. I can’t help to always over thinking whether the other person is in it for the same reason or why, and I hate to ask because I always just let things be (That’s what I like to tell myself to make to make me feel better about dating).

Casual dating comes with this frustration knowing that sometimes the person we go out with doesn’t want the same thing as us. Have you ever been a date with someone and they perhaps want more then you or vice versa? It sucks. Dating shouldn’t be stressful it should be filled with fun and excitement and never taken too serious. Just make sure you both are on the same page, so no feelings are hurt in the future.

BUT, if you know what you want whether it is a relationship, make sure the other person knows and ultimately want it as well.

 

Published by not avail