I take some things so seriously, I want to blog about it for being sexist or damaging to people. Someone pointed out that I do this a lot: 'you need to calm, it's only there for a joke, not everyone reads into it like you'. But what if they do? What if it upsets them? What if I don't express my opinion will people feel alone in their views?

I panic, I worry and I take myself as well as other things way to seriously. Most of the time I'm good, I'm calm and shrug things off, but others I worry. There are occasions I get so uptight and overthinking all my actions to avoid making a tit out of myself, finding it hard to get involved with the banter my friends are having, worrying too much about what I am wearing and whatever is thinking of me. Maybe it is not seriousness, maybe it is anxiety?

I would like to think it's not anxiety, I think I am too serious, I can take things to literally and make small things into huge issues. I do this because things matter to me and I think if I don't take them seriously who else will? If I don't make it a big deal, I will only end up being walked all over. I think I do it to protect myself, if I don't take it seriously I will get hurt, or someone won't listen to me. 

I am not narrow minded and I enjoy getting into debates, but when I do I take things people say to seriously and the discussions just explodes, because they were only trying to make a joke. I would like to learn to relax more and be able to let myself go, enjoy myself without over thinking every possibility or consequence. I think back to how I was when I was 17/18 I was so care-free and wouldn't worry what anyone thought or think about consequences. Now I am less care-free, is this maturity? Does engaging into adulthood mean that I lose my innocence and care-free behaviour? I'm sure it doesn't. 

I am more confident, I speak my mind more, I stand up for myself. These are massive achievements for me. I feel that people listen and take me seriously. Maybe that is why I am so serious, because I want to be taken seriously. I want to be treated like a person of value, of worth. Instead of a kid who doesn't know anything about life. 

I am a grown women, I will be heard and I will be taken seriously. 

 

Published by Katy-Jane Pitt