Last Tuesday I was laid off.  I’m an IT contractor so this is not an unfamiliar space for me to be.  For some reason, this time feels a little different.  I’ve been a government contractor for over 14 years now in Washington, DC.  Without much notice, contracts are constantly won or lost or “financing is making some adjustments” or most recently -“We just didn’t make the sales that we needed to”.  In this single moment, lots of things run through your mind: how will I pay my bills? How long will it take to find something new?  Do I tell my husband today or secretly stay home and try to line up something before I reveal this new secret of mine?


Against my better judgment, I call The King while I am pulling out of my office’s parking lot for the very last time.  His response: Click. He hangs up.  Hello?  Hello? He’s not taking this very well; this is not what I envisioned when I dialed him.  After being together for 21 years, I hoped that I could call my husband and get some sympathy.  Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. That didn’t happen.  I was crushed for the second time within 30 minutes.  Panic sets in.


I head over to pick up our 5-year-old princessa, so I now have to put on my happy mommy face.  What was your favorite thing that happened today, Lola?  I’m asking this little tiny person how her day was when all I want to do right now is to confide in her.  She is the one person that will hug me and say, don’t worry about it mommy, everything will be ok.  I must be losing my mind.  Sitting in traffic, I’m quite overwhelmed for some reason, the sunset is amazing, the red mountains are breathtaking.  I feel the need to stress to you here, that contractors are “let go” all the time.  Why this extreme reaction now?  


We moved to Arizona 9 months ago and yet I have had 3 IT jobs that have all come to an end rather oddly, If I can say so.  My husband adores the IT field, he loves to tinker,  he loves technology-he in his element completely.  I admire that about him.  He genuinely loves what he does.  It’s as if the universe rewards him because he is doing what he loves.  He is promoted with a raise after only 6 months of starting his job here.  Unbelievable and inspiring.    


My husband was a new construction plumber when we met, but he really wanted to make a career change.  He wanted to hang up his work boots and coveralls and start an IT career.  17 years ago, I did what any good, supportive wife or girlfriend would do, I searched for an A+ class that would train him in the evenings at a reasonable price.  We found it, he loved it, he graduated and the rest is history.  He has worked for Homeland Security, NASA, VISA, Fannie Mae, US House of Representatives - believe me, it’s all very impressive and I am constantly proud of The King.    


On the other hand, my story is a little different.  Being born a Sagittarius is a thing of magic.  You are full of whimsy and sprinkled with stardust.  Your soul is that of a wanderer.  I’m a dreamer, a bohemian romantic, a believer in universal power and the magic of the angels above.  You see, the way that I look at it, 3 different jobs in 9 months says that my angels keep closing a door that I keep trying to pry open out of habit.  I am being made uncomfortable so that one day I will take the next step.  I will finally discover what lies waiting around the next corner.  I moved mountains to move us from Maryland to Arizona and we changed every single aspect of our lives in the past 9 months.   I will continue to cleanse our home with sage and prayer.  I will continue to meditate and look for messages from the angels.  I have officially been called to action. 

Published by Tanika Belis