Why do we always say sorry? We, as human beings, apologise for any and every action we take, but how many times have we stepped back to ask ourselves why?

Don't apologise before telling someone your opinion. Why should you? They're your thoughts - your feelings. I get that we do it as a way to ensure the person receiving doesn't take offence, but does a 'sorry' honestly make it all better? If they're to take offence, they will, but by you saying you’re sorry, your hiding the point of even speaking your mind. You're belittling yourself, your confidence, your strength and abilities, a lot of the time without even realising it. You put yourself in a position where others, either knowingly or subconsciously, see you as someone they can 'walk all over'. You dig yourself a whole from which it is so hard to climb out of. Just because of one word, you make it seem like you are doubting yourself.

A study has shown that this habit of apologising before an action or a comment is actually quite common in women, more than men. I was at a conference a few months ago, which was by women in leadership positions, for young women and girls, to learn more about being a woman in industry. One of the main points I took away from that conference was to not apologise for all these little things. 'I didn't climb my way up to this position by apologising,' they said. They're absolutely right. By removing this habit, you're presenting yourself as a much more confident, strong being. You are showing you are able to compete and work with anyone who is around you.

When someone points out that we say ‘sorry’ often, we start apologising for that as well. Why? Instead of apologising, maybe have a moment to yourself next time, and ask yourself why you say ‘sorry’ often. The only way to tackle a problem is to go out of your way to identify it. 'Sorry' is one of those words that get thrown around a lot, and its meaning gets hidden or misinterpreted. It is good manners to apologise, of course, but this becomes anything but when you start apologising for anything and everything. Only apologise if you really mean it, if you're genuinely sorry. It’s not a word that should be used as commonly as ‘thank you’ or ‘hello’. It loses its meaning and value, until no one takes your apologies seriously. 

Never say sorry about your mental illness, disorder, disability or other health issues. It is never okay to put yourself in a position where it becomes your fault. It isn't. I think that's the main thing we need to get into our heads. Yes, it is difficult, and doesn't make the lives of those who are around you easier. But these people are there out of choice - they are there because they care about you and want to help. You might say, 'My carer is only there for me because they have to be' or 'My partner is around me because we're together. I don't they would support otherwise'. Well, you're wrong. These people still have the choice to walk away whenever it gets too much for them. But, think about it, they are still there. They chose to stay even though it gets difficult or confusing for them. If you were forcing them to stay against their will, then please, feel free to apologise. But they're not.

Those who make you feel like you need to apologize for everything that makes you, you, they are simply not worth your time. Because those who you don't need to apologise to, don't need to act in front of, they understand and they really do care. Find those people, surround yourself with them, and do them a favour and stop saying sorry for being the way you are. From what I've learnt, they hate hearing it more than you dislike saying it.

Most importantly, never say sorry for your existence. You are special, and a gift to this world regardless of what others think of you. We apologise in such situations because we feel unwelcome, and we don't want to be a bother. Just remember everyone is different, and we all function in unique ways. Where someone feels at home might be the polar opposite of where you do, and that is fine. Don't apologise for being different. You don't have to apologise to try and fit in, so that they try and accept you for the facade you put on. There is somewhere else out there where you don't have to hide the person you are, where you don't have to feel sorry for yourself. Somewhere where people embrace and treasure the very traits that others turn their heads at. 

Be yourself, be confident, be brave, and love yourself for who you are. I’m sure that once you stop apologising for all these things, you’ll start to see how much potential you actually hold.

 Why do we always say sorry? We, as human beings, apologise for any and every action we take, but how many times have we stepped back to ask ourselves why?

Don't apologise before telling someone your opinion. Why should you? They're your thoughts - your feelings. I get that we do it as a way to ensure the person receiving doesn't take offence, but does a 'sorry' honestly make it all better? If they're to take offence, they will, but by you saying you’re sorry, your hiding the point of even speaking your mind. You're belittling yourself, your confidence, your strength and abilities, a lot of the time without even realising it. You put yourself in a position where others, either knowingly or subconsciously, see you as someone they can 'walk all over'. You dig yourself a whole from which it is so hard to climb out of. Just because of one word, you make it seem like you are doubting yourself.

A study has shown that this habit of apologising before an action or a comment is actually quite common in women, more than men. I was at a conference a few months ago, which was by women in leadership positions, for young women and girls, to learn more about being a woman in industry. One of the main points I took away from that conference was to not apologise for all these little things. 'I didn't climb my way up to this position by apologising,' they said. They're absolutely right. By removing this habit, you're presenting yourself as a much more confident, strong being. You are showing you are able to compete and work with anyone who is around you.

When someone points out that we say ‘sorry’ often, we start apologising for that as well. Why? Instead of apologising, maybe have a moment to yourself next time, and ask yourself why you say ‘sorry’ often. The only way to tackle a problem is to go out of your way to identify it. 'Sorry' is one of those words that get thrown around a lot, and its meaning gets hidden or misinterpreted. It is good manners to apologise, of course, but this becomes anything but when you start apologising for anything and everything. Only apologise if you really mean it, if you're genuinely sorry. It’s not a word that should be used as commonly as ‘thank you’ or ‘hello’. It loses its meaning and value, until no one takes your apologies seriously. 

Never say sorry about your mental illness, disorder, disability or other health issues. It is never okay to put yourself in a position where it becomes your fault. It isn't. I think that's the main thing we need to get into our heads. Yes, it is difficult, and doesn't make the lives of those who are around you easier. But these people are there out of choice - they are there because they care about you and want to help. You might say, 'My carer is only there for me because they have to be' or 'My partner is around me because we're together. I don't they would support otherwise'. Well, you're wrong. These people still have the choice to walk away whenever it gets too much for them. But, think about it, they are still there. They chose to stay even though it gets difficult or confusing for them. If you were forcing them to stay against their will, then please, feel free to apologise. But they're not.

Those who make you feel like you need to apologize for everything that makes you, you, they are simply not worth your time. Because those who you don't need to apologise to, don't need to act in front of, they understand and they really do care. Find those people, surround yourself with them, and do them a favour and stop saying sorry for being the way you are. From what I've learnt, they hate hearing it more than you dislike saying it.

Most importantly, never say sorry for your existence. You are special, and a gift to this world regardless of what others think of you. We apologise in such situations because we feel unwelcome, and we don't want to be a bother. Just remember everyone is different, and we all function in unique ways. Where someone feels at home might be the polar opposite of where you do, and that is fine. Don't apologise for being different. You don't have to apologise to try and fit in, so that they try and accept you for the facade you put on. There is somewhere else out there where you don't have to hide the person you are, where you don't have to feel sorry for yourself. Somewhere where people embrace and treasure the very traits that others turn their heads at. 

Be yourself, be confident, be brave, and love yourself for who you are. I’m sure that once you stop apologising for all these things, you’ll start to see how much potential you actually hold.

Why do we always say sorry? We, as human beings, apologise for any and every action we take, but how many times have we stepped back to ask ourselves why?

Don't apologise before telling someone your opinion. Why should you? They're your thoughts - your feelings. I get that we do it as a way to ensure the person receiving doesn't take offence, but does a 'sorry' honestly make it all better? If they're to take offence, they will, but by you saying you’re sorry, your hiding the point of even speaking your mind. You're belittling yourself, your confidence, your strength and abilities, a lot of the time without even realising it. You put yourself in a position where others, either knowingly or subconsciously, see you as someone they can 'walk all over'. You dig yourself a whole from which it is so hard to climb out of. Just because of one word, you make it seem like you are doubting yourself.

A study has shown that this habit of apologising before an action or a comment is actually quite common in women, more than men. I was at a conference a few months ago, which was by women in leadership positions, for young women and girls, to learn more about being a woman in industry. One of the main points I took away from that conference was to not apologise for all these little things. 'I didn't climb my way up to this position by apologising,' they said. They're absolutely right. By removing this habit, you're presenting yourself as a much more confident, strong being. You are showing you are able to compete and work with anyone who is around you.

When someone points out that we say ‘sorry’ often, we start apologising for that as well. Why? Instead of apologising, maybe have a moment to yourself next time, and ask yourself why you say ‘sorry’ often. The only way to tackle a problem is to go out of your way to identify it. 'Sorry' is one of those words that get thrown around a lot, and its meaning gets hidden or misinterpreted. It is good manners to apologise, of course, but this becomes anything but when you start apologising for anything and everything. Only apologise if you really mean it, if you're genuinely sorry. It’s not a word that should be used as commonly as ‘thank you’ or ‘hello’. It loses its meaning and value, until no one takes your apologies seriously. 

Never say sorry about your mental illness, disorder, disability or other health issues. It is never okay to put yourself in a position where it becomes your fault. It isn't. I think that's the main thing we need to get into our heads. Yes, it is difficult, and doesn't make the lives of those who are around you easier. But these people are there out of choice - they are there because they care about you and want to help. You might say, 'My carer is only there for me because they have to be' or 'My partner is around me because we're together. I don't they would support otherwise'. Well, you're wrong. These people still have the choice to walk away whenever it gets too much for them. But, think about it, they are still there. They chose to stay even though it gets difficult or confusing for them. If you were forcing them to stay against their will, then please, feel free to apologise. But they're not.

Those who make you feel like you need to apologize for everything that makes you, you, they are simply not worth your time. Because those who you don't need to apologise to, don't need to act in front of, they understand and they really do care. Find those people, surround yourself with them, and do them a favour and stop saying sorry for being the way you are. From what I've learnt, they hate hearing it more than you dislike saying it.

Most importantly, never say sorry for your existence. You are special, and a gift to this world regardless of what others think of you. We apologise in such situations because we feel unwelcome, and we don't want to be a bother. Just remember everyone is different, and we all function in unique ways. Where someone feels at home might be the polar opposite of where you do, and that is fine. Don't apologise for being different. You don't have to apologise to try and fit in, so that they try and accept you for the facade you put on. There is somewhere else out there where you don't have to hide the person you are, where you don't have to feel sorry for yourself. Somewhere where people embrace and treasure the very traits that others turn their heads at. 

Be yourself, be confident, be brave, and love yourself for who you are. I know that once you stop apologising for all these things, you’ll start to see how much potential you actually hold.

Published by Mensi Suntharalingam