Part 3..

on my bed, trying to type reply to Ben's text

Typing  “ Hey Ben.. How are you.. Sorry for really late reply… “

Deleted… Too casual.

Typing  “ Hey Ben, I am sorry for being so late. A lot of things happening at works… “

Deleted… too much excuses.

Typing  “ Hey Ben, sorry for the lateness of my reply. I am busy. How are you? Are the picnic plan still open? “

Send or not…

Too straight forwards.

Open Instagram..

Search Ben Sterling..

Scrolling down all the photos. I never knew how fun his Job was. There’s a pictures of various dish of extravagant food. One of them make me drooling. There’s also lots of pictures of historic place. The scene is wonderful. I never see the Memorial Monument glowing behind a sunset. I found a picture of rave party near the beach. It looks like everyone had a great fun. I think he also. I wish I was there to enjoy the very same moment.

Then I finally came to ‘ the photo ‘

A picture of myself, taken by him. Such a longing face. Such grace. Such fragile look that I never see in myself if I look at the mirror. The background is outstanding. Its hard choice not to love it.

My fingers, tapping 2 times.. then tap again.. tapping 2 times again. Tap again.

Love, un love, love , un love.

My heads is crazy now.

Okay, 1 last tap.

I love the picture.  Will he respond to that?

The next hour of waiting the response are just like hell. I have been cleaning my room, Organize my closets, doing some laundry, iron some blouses , take showers, grab lunch at the nearest deli, and no sign of his respond.  I choose to forget it and prepare for work.


11pm the same day

Finished work. I get my shawl, and put it around my neck. It’s not snowy or really cold but it’s just perfectly match the outfit I have. Black pencil pants with crème halter neck blouse and my coat. Just outside Zicco’s after waving to the other staff, I saw Ben. He was standing across the streets looking at me. He is waving and I smiled back at him. I wait until he cross the street with a huge drumline going on in my head.

“ Hi Jen! “ he said

“ Hi Ben.. “ that’s all I could say now. I am so stupid.

“ I see you just finished your work. Any time for coffee? “ He ask with a great wide smile that I always love.

“ Yea sure. Where will you take me? There’s a Coffee shops near here but its  closing soon. “ I said to him. While looking at the neighborhood.

“ Well I know one place that still open , its on 9th avenue. Would you like to go there? “ He asked

“ Sure! You lead then. “ I said to him and we try to find taxi to take us there.

Those light conversation rolling inside the taxi. Just casually talk like how are you and how’s works. That answered by multiples fine, great and had a new things going on. Few minutes later we already arrived at the coffee lounge. Its looks nice. The interior is really simple. Even thou the walls are gloomy cause it covered with solid color wood. The lighting also just enough with nice chandelier but not too much. The puffy armchair having comfort feeling that you can’t resist. Adele’s Song aired here.

“ wow, nice place. I like it. How come you knew this place? “ while I open my coat and shawl. Thinking to order a nice warm coffee latte with whipped cream.

“ Gayo’s Owner is one of my friend. I met him in an international Coffee expo 2 months ago. I love the taste of coffee here. I love the peace environment. The price is normal. The WI-FI is absolutely the greatest hahaha, I mean what Blogger like me could wish more? I write most of my blog here. I came here like 3 times in a week. Mostly at night. Because inspiration sometime comes more in the night for me .  Just like earlier when I decided to show up at your workplace. I hope you are not bothered with that”  he look at me seriously after the last sentence.

All I could say is, I am fine with that.

“ so how is your life so far Jen? “ he sips his espresso. Ellie Goulding song’s played. Love me like you do.

I told him about what happen with my works, about my Instagram, how I found interesting picture on InsideLookInc Instagram. I smiled at him as he know which picture that I mean.

“ I am sorry I took your picture without permission..” He said.

He explained how at that moment he found a nice scene. He thought that I am the lady behind the great exhibition that held that day. He say the aura that I soar that day was too bright to be unnoticed.

“ I want to capture that , I do edit it a few just to make the lighting works more. I think that’s the best picture I ever taken. Honestly.” He adds at the end.

“ well, Ben.. I never fall in love with my own pictures before. It’s not that I thought ugly for myself. No. I mean, no one ever take my picture into that depth. I felt what you felt. I am really happy with that picture. Actually, I am thinking if you could give me the real file of the picture so I could print it and put in on a frame and hang it on my bedroom. “ I explained to him

He say that can be arranged. He is also willing to print it for me because he know the right place here to have a good quality photo printing.

“ Jen, one question in my mind until now, does my text bother you? “ his wide eye now struck to my heart and make me stop breathing.

I do waiting for this question pops up. I take one deep breath and 1 minute of silence before finally answering.

“ uhmm…. I do think that night we had a great night. We know each other well enough. Just like now also. It’s a great night. you know that I have some issues with dating before. Its not that I didn’t want to go out with you. Maybe I just doesn’t want to jump into conclusion that you were having any kind of sort of a feeling for me. I don’t want to hoping on a false lead. I am happy with the friendship I had with you now but not ready yet for intimacy or something like that. “ and I stop dead.

“ Jenna, I like you. That’s true. I wanna spent nice time with you. That’s also true. But I will not push you into romantic scene or something like that. I also want to look how good our relationship could be. I want to know are you enjoying things that I do. I want to know are you can relate to my job. That’s essentials before going into a relationship. I want to be a good friend of you. A good friend including hang outs and having great times together right? I also love hang out with Danny and the others. You should try hang with some of my friends too before deciding on going out with me .  you know how I am so easily travel here and there. Some girls annoyed with that. Because I am not always there when she needs me. But you are strong independent woman. I need that ability came up from someone I will having relationship with. You could say I am serious. You have my word Jen. “ he held my hand while he say the last part of his explanation.

That’s the best I could have. Yeah I do need a world opener for me. Ben has been traveling for few years. He Met a lot of people. He see a lot of things. That’s makes him wiser than normal guy. Do I have the guts to trust him ? that’s been hanging in my head.

“ So, why I ask you to go on a picnic with me, because I love picnic. I am quite a good cook you know. Traveling and all those dining invitation makes me capable to recreate fantastic food. But I also want to know where is your favorite place. Because from there I could see what kind of a woman you are. I can guess whether you are the right woman for me. Or you are just another great friends that I will treasure from this city that never sleeps. One story that I know. “

Alan Walker Song’s Faded airing now..

“ Ben.. “

“yea.. “

“ let’s go on a picnic together! “

Ben smiling . I can see an honest smile. I plan to trust this man. I need to have a new things happen. I am going to move on. Maybe this man can help me explore myself and found the best in me.

“ Jenna, You find the place. I will bring the food. I have a picnic basket that we could use. We could also bring a Bluetooth speakers so we could enjoy nice music. We could make the playlist now. “ he pulled out his tablet and start making a youtube playlist.

The conversation goes on until 2 am in the morning.

We so cope up with each other until the café owner say nicely that we have to leave.

We decided to go to my childhood place. It’s just 1 hour by train. There’s a nice park that I used to go with my mother. It has lake and shabby trees that will cover us from the bright sun. Ben said it’s a nice place. we planned to go next Wednesday. Which would be another 4 days.

I read a text from him before sleeping

“Thank you for the coffee tonight. I enjoyed our conversation. I felt you were open up to me more. That’s great. So, have a good sleep tonight. We will see each other on Wednesday. Thanks for trusting me as your friend Jenna. “

I smiled and text back right away.

“Your welcome Ben. We met at the train station at 10 would be nice. So we could arrive at the right time for lunch. I will bring the blanket. Have a good sleep Ben. “

Published by Tanya Petrushka