Yes, I’m aware I have been slacking TREMENDOUSLY and I do apologize. And this is also not the weekly post for this week. But something was placed on my heart today that I thought someone might need to see. It’s a bit touchy so if you’re not ready for a little read right in the feels, you better wait for this week’s post lol. So check this out…

It gets better.

Recently, I’ve kind of been feeling like I was drowning. Like I couldn’t breathe (no I wasn’t swimming either lol). Like my entire world was crashing around me and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I dreaded waking up in the morning because that meant that I would have to take on another day and face not only people but also reality. It was hard to face people with the impossible façade that I was totally fine and there was nothing wrong. I walked around wearing this stupid smile asking “Hey, how are you ?” and responding quickly when others asked me the same. All the while dying slowly inside. At some point of course I think and ask myself, why not just finish it all? What’s the point? And it almost seemed as though every time I asked myself this question, a client called me. That phone call was more than just a phone call.

It was PURPOSE.

I had to sit and talk to GOD(yea, I’m going there!) I began to ask him, WHY ME? As clear as you can see the words on this page I heard the words WHY NOT YOU? Then I realized, I haven’t done much talking to Him recently. Shame on me! At that point I began to reevaluate my life a little bit. I started looking at the people I was surrounding myself with on a daily basis and how they were influencing my life. And the more I began to talk to Him, the more he started to reveal to me. So I asked him to take all the negativity and everything that was not of Him out of my life. ( and no, I won’t say he started dropping them like flies because that’s not how it happened. Besides, not even RAID drops flies like flies lol) But he did place a person in my life with more positivity than 3 positive pregnancy test! And this person didn’t know me from Betsy Jo (Shout out to Betsy) . But he kind of adopted me as a friend and I did the same. And I found myself enjoying the company of such a positive person so much that I became distracted from my own issues. Amongst the laughs, and prayers( yes, WE PRAYED TOGETHER!!!!!) and smiles, randomly he said to me,

Just know, IT GETS BETTER.

It was like somebody threw a sack of potatoes at me. How did he know to say that? I hadn’t told him about any of my silent issues or problems I was having within or even my SHOE SIZE! Soooooo how did he know to say something like that to me? ALMOST INSTANTLY I thought about this verse (get out your bible apps ladies and gentlemen).

Luke 11:9 (KJV)

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

I did ask Him to take out negativity and I also asked him Why me? And I realized that He did answer my prayer, not exactly how I expected but that’s the thing. He doesn’t always come when we want, but he is definitely always on time.

The point of all of this is this, it doesn’t always seem like there’s light at the end of the tunnel. And it may not always seem like you’re gonna be able to take on another day but guess what, IT DOES GET BETTER. I’m not telling you like some cliché because frankly I don’t quite believe in those, but I’m telling you from experience. I’m also not telling you this as some creepy Jesus creeper down your throat Jehovah’s Witness (no offense to the Jehovah’s reading this, just stop knocking on my door please, I have my own Jesus thanks)I’m telling you as a young 21 year old adult who doesn’t always know how to talk to Him and should probably attend church more often than I do. Point is, I’m just a regular person. So if I can do it, ANYONE CAN(trust me sweetie, ANYONE).

And if you don’t exactly know how to pray, just talk. Like in your car or while you’re taking the browns to the superbowl(if you catch my drift), like a regular person. What could trying hurt? You’ll never know if you don’t. Just a little something for your mental.

Hakuna Matata. (It means no worries!🙂)

 

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Published by Kurstyn Jolly www.jollygirlcurlz.com