Lately, I've been finding it hard to concentrate on things. For some of us, there is much that keeps our minds abuzz. Sometimes these are trivial things, sometimes they are bigger life-altering decisions. Either way, they are enough to lose sleep over several nights. 

 

So then, it has been a conscious effort (and a struggle if I am being honest), to pull myself out of this frame of mind and concentrate on the now. On this very moment. On myself. To just be. It borders on the impossible in our world these days to just be. There is so much to do, much that offers distractions, and never enough time to do most of it. However, summoning every willing sinew in your body to act in a manner where you can just slow down and be, is often a very calming experience. This past weekend was Labour Day, and sure there were exciting things to do, faraway destinations to head to, camping trips and the like. Still, I felt like a take-time-for-myself weekend. And so I got out a picnic basket and did just that. Mind you, my relaxing picnic involved a companion, but it still afforded me all the time to myself that I needed. I made time to read in the sun (currently on A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews), have some good food (Triscuits in hummus, baby carrots, grapes, and luncheon meat sandwiches) and drink (white wine and blueberry smoothie juice), listen to Frank Sinatra, but more than anything, I was able to just lay still and close my eyes some moments, and then observe nature around me other moments. It was 3 hours of uninterrupted bliss, and it did wonders for my state of mind. It calmed me down right to my bones. It sucked the jittery edgy-ness right out of me like a mosquito sucking sweet blood. I watched a group play Bubble Soccer, families and other couples laying together and laughing, a dog walked with his merry troupe of 7 dogs, runners, readers, sunbathers. I watched the sun from where it began that afternoon, high in the sky, dip to a lower point where I played hide-and-seek with it among the leaves of the trees I lay under. I just halted all the madness in my head and focused on what was in front of me.  I am a nature lover and walking is a great way for me to get in touch with my environment, but for those 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon, time stopped and I had not a care in the world. I wasn't jumping for joy on any level, but I was able to quiet my mind and still my heart to a soothing beat.

 

I know it is quite difficult to plan an escape from our day-to-day and just do something for ourselves, but sometimes I think it is essential, else we risk tipping forward into a vast abyss of losing ourselves. Dare I say, for 3 hours I found little bits of myself, bits  that I might have lost to overworking and under-caring for myself in the last while.

 

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Published by Bianca D.