It is part of my routine to always end up reading or perusing something to uplift my inner peace and be a better person. I frequently read tons of advice, especially for people my age who are in the same boat as I am, saying if a circumstance doesn't work out any longer, move out. Many would say if something doesn't serve you well, on the off chance that it's not bringing bliss and happiness; if it's difficult to handle any longer, then leave and discover something else.

Perhaps the anguish comes in waves and, pretty much as you may be suitably consistent to stand, the tide turns and crashes upon you with recharged force. Then again perhaps it's only more secure here for the present, in your case that is both scarily dim and consolingly warm. Yes, I’ve been there.

You close your eyes and submit to the murkiness, letting the unkind pictures you've been thwarting throughout the day to extend onto the back of your eyelids, letting the words you proved unable, shouldn't talk reverberation in your ears. And in a tiny shack of your heart there you can find all the what ifs you try to deny and bury. Your pain is bane coursing through your veins and extraction is the only antidote. Give it a chance to overflow like a tainted injury; let it stain like spilled whisky. Give it a chance to slick on the floor in the center of the fragmented glass, what-ifs, and ought to haves. I guarantee you this is the rigid part.

You can't continue living your lives always leaving your issues. On the off chance that you need to move out, then you should confront the issues you have right now; your what ifs.

The thing is whether you cannot drop something or if you cannot make a space for better things, you will always be the same individual with the growing what ifs. You can't grasp every one of the things. You can't embrace your issues and what you ought to be. You shall never forget that something else doesn't generally signify something better.

The world will continue spinning and it will never stop at your expense. So with shaking legs and beating heart, you slide open the entryway and stretch your limbs despite the fact that the world outside is still excessively threatening, making it impossible to hold up under. You let your tears and torment blend with apprehension and consideration. Perchance you'll fall somewhere gentler, battle fairly harder, and enjoy somewhat less; continued by the anguish, heartened by the clash; wounds are obvious yet undeniably mended.

Quit contemplating about one person who became your entire world, while you didn't have one of your own. Quit considering the what ifs in your heart that both of you may get back together. Quit being unnerved. Quit being fearful. You have an existence that is so lovely. Simply open your eyes, shut and drop every what ifs that continue beating you each time.

You should know what you should be. You deserve to know who you ought to be. So drop every what if and begin grasping the greater part of what is.


Published by Adett Feliciano