There's a song that says ‘’let's talk about sex baby’’ but if that's all you have in your relationship, you're sadly mistaken to think you even have a relationship.

Yes, it's a great part of a relationship but it's not the end all to be all. If you can't talk, you have no trust, the other person is putting you down, belittling you or if you have nothing else but sex, then you're fooling yourself.

Yet I've seen people stay in horrible relationships because of this one thing. You are miserable but hey, you have great sex! Really? Are you worried that you will never have great sex again or that no one else will love you? Are you afraid of being alone? Why are you there?

Yes, we all stay for stupid reasons but to us they are not stupid. We justify it; they make sense to us. For years my friends told me to leave my ex-husband and let me tell you: the sex wasn't even all that and I still stayed. I knew it was bad and I was miserable and yet I was still there. 
Why? I didn't know my own worth; I didn't think I could make it. I didn't love myself to expect better so I stayed and no matter how many times people tried to talk sense into me, I wasn't hearing it.

You need to know your worth; know that you are a good and kind person, that you have a good heart and know that even without a relationship, you are still whole. Know that you are loved for you and not for things you have or don't have, that you are loved in spite of your past mistakes and because they want to know the true you.

If you want to change, you can and you will. I am the biggest advocate of change but you must want this and you must take the first step to make yourself truly happy from the inside out.

I have learned that a lot of the things that used to make me "happy" were like band aids covering up and masking my pain and hurt. I learned that I am good without all of the stuff, without filling myself up with the drugs, the liquor and the men. It didn’t matter how many fancy pocketbooks or expensive shoes I had if I was empty inside. Even the sex left me empty afterwards. I learned I have joy in my heart and that is priceless. Trust me when you find it my friend, nothing will compare… not even great sex.

So today my friends remember the next time you say you’re staying in that relationship because of ‘’...fill in the blanks....’’, ask yourself if you are truly happy. Do you have peace and joy in your heart? If the answer is no, it’s time to move on and find it within yourself before you try to fill it with just another person or sex baby!

"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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Published by Francesca Villardi (Treadmill Treats)