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Sisters making friends at Relay for Life

When we lost our Kathryn in May, she left a little sister at home. The two sisters spent most of their 24/7’s together sharing school, sleep, swimming and dance as well as play time and Kathryn’s pre-school time.
It was a rich relationship for both of them. Elizabeth witnessed most of Kathryn’s asthma attack and the aftermath of her aspirating. She experienced the greatest trauma a person could at a very very young age. In the days that followed, she spent the night with us all in the hospital because the medical staff expected it to be Kathryn’s last night. When Kathryn made it through the night, Elizabeth was lovingly watched by our kids and by friends and th420941_3557173735045_1724310906_nen finally her aunts who came to stay with us. She made another visit to the hospital. She also sent a favorite sweater of Kathryn’s for Kathryn to wear home that we kept out on the chair as a symbol of hope and love.

With all of this commotion and Mommy and Daddy watching over Kathryn so much, she did pretty well until about day 5. He aunts noticed a little anger and they were gentle with her. Elizabeth is active and very kind and loving. She tore up some papers that had significance and was not very obedient. She would hardly sit still.

Then on Kathryn’s last day with us, we all said our good-bye’s. When Elizabeth came in with her sister-in-law to be and her brother, she came over to give me a big huge hug. We were standing by Kathryn. Elizabeth asked, “Is Kathryn coming home now?” I said very carefully, “No, Kathryn can’t come home. She is going to go be with Jonathan.” Little Elizabeth’s tears began to flow and she hugged my tight. Mark saw and came over to join in the hug. It was a surreal, deeply sad moment for all of us. She helped us gather up Kathryn’s things and left with her big brothers and Emma so that we could meet with the Doner Group who would be taking care of Kathryn and her organ donations.

When we got home from the hospital, Elizabeth had cousins around for a week, until Kathryn’s funeral. It was a great bridge from being able to play with her sister all of the time to our new reality. While we had so much family around and cousins distracting her, we moved her into what had been her room originally before the girls started sharing their room a few years back. Her baby pictures were still up and her twin bed was still there. I talked to her about the move and she seemed ok with it. After everyone left, during the day, Elizabeth was ok with her new room but at night she would come climb in bed with us or I would go up and sleep with her on the empty queen bed in Jonathan or Christian’s old room. Her fear of sleeping by herself and her loneliness didn’t surprise us. SIMG_7568.JPGo along with our family prayers at night, I started look at our essential oils and which oils support which emotions. I was looking for essential oils that promote grounding or settled emotions. I found 3 of them that I thought that I’d try in her diffuser at bedtime. I put 2 drops of grounding blend or Balance, 1 drop of Cedarwood and 1 drop of Arborvitae. I also added Cypress a couple of times. That combination has worked really well. For the most part she sleeps through the night now and seems to not be having nightmares or anxious night time moments.

We continue to watch for cues from Elizabeth and keep talking to her and working with her as she processes her losses. We are very grateful for the ability to use such safe, real essential oils on her behalf. She is tender and resilient. We love her so much.

Affirmations: Even thought there has been a major shift in our home, we are grounded and loved. Even though our children are processing huge losses, they feel safe. Even though I am going through the emotions of losing our children, I can love and support our children. Even in our loss, we are supportive of each other. I am able to support our children. I have the tools and access to the tools I need to support our children. Our children are courageous. Our faith is enough.

Essential Oils: Cypress, Arborvitae, grounding blend (Balance), Cedarwood, Frankincense, Indian Sandalwood, Cardamom

Published by Sherrill Moody