Do you ever feel lost? Not knowing what you want. I feel like that right now. I finished college and I feel like I do not know what I want. I do not have a job yet, but I also feel like I am not ready for it at this moment. But since I am not going to school anymore I need a job so I can live and do things I love. But then I do not feel ready and it just feels like I am falling into the deep. And then this month my graduation is coming along and I just know that people are going to ask me if I already have a job and then I need to say no and they are going to ask what I am doing then and then I need to tell them that I do not work at the moment. And it feels so bad that I am not having a job. But I haven’t been feeling so well and I know that it is actually good that I am taking time for myself, but it is also very stressfull.

At this moment I just wish I could just stay in my room all day long and just sing and write blogs and dreaming that I can make a job out of that, because right now I can’t get myself up to do something where I need to get out of the house.

I just feel really really lost right now. 

On these days I am actually glad that I started this blog, because I can just write all my anxiety of of me and I can just put it somewhere where only you can read it and all my friends and family wouldn’t find out. Because it is hard to talk about it. I love to just write about it and not talk about it. There is only one friend at this moment that actually knows a lot about it, but lately I feel like I’m only bombarding him with my ‘problems’, so I kind of bit by bit stopped talking about it, so he will think it is all fine. Now he can only ask me if I am seeing him in real life, if he sees it. And I think that is the best for now.

Can you also feel as lost as I am right now? Or is it just me and I need to just man up and start to do something about it?

For now I sign off.

SoZing stops Zinging x

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